One Man Trying...

Top books of 2011

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

The Enemy Within by Kris Lundgaard - Powerfull re-working of Owen's classic "Mortification of Sin in the Beliver." Blogged about the book here.

Wendell Berry: I went on a WB reading kick this year and consumed a bunch of his works. Introduced to him by a friend who said "If you replace every use of the word 'community' in Berry's books with the word 'church,' it would revolutionize the way we do church." For an introduction to his fiction, try Fidelity (a collection of short stories). For non-fiction, try What are People For? Other favorites were Hannah Coulter, Jayber Crow, and Citizenship Papers.

Colonel Roosevelt - Third book in a trilogy of an amazing story about an amazing man. If you want to be inspired to live life at its fullest in 2012, read all three volumes in this series. Previously blogged about the first in the series here.

Unbroken - Many have raved about this story of an Olympic runner turned Japanese POW in WWII. His perseverance, resilience, and ultimately his ability to forgive is super human. The author's story ads an interesting layer, as she struggles with debilitating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Vertigo, hardly unable to even leave her bedroom at times.

How Should We Then Live? - by Francis Schaeffer. I've been a big fan of Schaeffer since being introduced to him in College. One of my seminary professors said, "Sell whatever you have, and go out today and buy his complete works." Couldn't agree more! I try to read a little of him every year. This version includes pictures of much of the art Schaeffer analyzes in the book.

A Million Ways to Die by Rick James - Crusade staff member writes about the core of living as a Christian: dying. Simple concept, yet frustratingly difficult to live out. James is witty and quick to highlight his own failures, yet inspires with some successes as well.

The Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner - Introduced to Stegner through Berry's works (Berry was a "Stegner Fellow" at Stanford). Some of the finest modern literature I've read. Similar to Steinbeck in style and regional themes. Stegner's Angle of Repose was a worthy read as well.

The Long Story Short

2012-01-18T09:27:00.002-07:00

FamilyLife recently interviewed Marty Machowski about his book of 10 minute family devotions called The Long Story Short. Marty's goal was to make it easy for a father to lead family devotions 5 days a week. This book covers the Old Testament in 78 chapters (that's right - 78 weeks of five devotions). It's an incredibly valuable resource, as any man knows who has tried to be consistent with biblical instruction at home. Marty really does make it easy. I have a couple of friends who are using the book and it has revolutionized their approach to this time with their family. I've begun to mix in some of the readings with our family devotions and have been very pleased. You can see by the online sample that they are creative, imaginative, and biblical, and of course, most importantly, they are SHORT!

You can read more about Marty's ministry on his resource site: http://gospelstoryforkids.com/

You can also listen to our interviews with him: Day One and Day Two

Order the book here.

Tim Keller on Marriage

2012-01-16T12:46:00.001-07:00

This week Tim Keller is on FamilyLife Today discussing his new marriage book, The Meaning of Marriage.

You can listen/download today’s program here.

Pure Salve for the Soul

2011-12-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

Some friends and I have been gathering to discuss the Puritans on Tuesday mornings. In the midst of the discussion I came upon the opening line from Thomas Brooks' book Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices.

"Christ, the Scripture, your own hearts, and Satan's devices, are the four prime things that should be first and most studied and searched. If any cast off the study of these, they cannot be safe here, or happy hereafter."

On its own, this is a valuable paragraph. Yet it holds an even weightier meaning in my heart after hearing yet another story yesterday, of a pastor of a large church in a large city who had bailed on his wife and kids. The man who told me this story had been best friends throughout seminary with this couple. Never saw it coming. Lord, strengthen all of us men who are trying - that we not, as Thomas Brooks said, "cast off the study of these..."

Lead Me

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last summer Sanctus Real came to Little Rock to give a concert for the FamilyLife staff as a part of our all-staff summer meeting. I'm usually pretty skeptical toward those who are well known in the Christian music industry and was anxious to see how they would do leading worship. I was pleasantly surprised: these guys are the real deal. The lead singer, Matt Hammitt, was appropriately reverent, focused on leading others toward the cross, rather than simply performing and showing off his talent. He happened to walk by me shortly afterwards and I spent some time thanking him for his leadership. That lead to about a 15 minute conversation about life and ministry; again, another surprise. I expected he would dash off as soon as I said my piece, but he appeared truly appreciative and encouraged and eager to chat more.

Later that afternoon they rocked the house with their own set of songs. I have to tell you I was so much more interested in what they had to sing about after the morning. Bob Lepine also did an informal interview on stage where they shared some very intimate things and some fresh wounds - again showing their transparency as a band. Later that afternoon we recorded their story for FamilyLife Today. You can check out the program here. It's an encouraging story, especially since he talks about his wife's role in calling him up to do a better job leading his family - which led him to write this song:

Matt talks about the inspiration from the song here as well:

COLOR PHOTOS FROM 1939

2011-11-12T22:22:00.001-07:00

70 amazing photos from 1939-1943. Made this era come to life like nothing else I've experienced.

Two of my favorites below. Click here to enjoy them all.

(Thanks to John Salyer for the link)

A Week of Bonhoeffer

2011-11-11T09:43:00.001-07:00

For the last week or so I've worked on the radio show prep for FamilyLife's interview with Eric Metaxas, the author of a very engaging biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This involved summarizing about a 600 page book into a 27 page document, and developing enough questions for two days of radio interviews.

It about killed me (and my family, I think) trying to squeeze it in around my other work, in the evenings and weekends, but it was a GREAT privilege that deeply enriched my soul. Being saturated in the story of Bonhoeffer's life was inspiring to say the least.

It was also a privilege to meet Eric and to get to know him during our 37 minute ride from the airport to his hotel. Yes of course we're close friends now. He even committed right there on the spot to preach at my future grandson-in-laws wedding! What a guy.

One of the things that impressed me about Eric was his diverse background. He has written for Veggie Tales, for Chuck Colson, and a number of other children's books as well. He also wrote a biography of William Wilberforce that my mom just finished and adored.

It was pretty encouraging to watch this video of his testimony to hear how he came to faith out of college, after having a very aggressively secular experience at Yale University.

He has also started a group called Socrates in the city. it's a gathering of people in New York City that want to hear talks on different faith related topics. He recently edited a book that compiles some of the best talks from those meetings and it is very interesting and funny. The introductions he gives to the speakers are really the highlight of the book.

Now,we didn't get to discuss it but I learned afterwards that he also helps lead a meeting of men that gather on a monthly basis to discuss how they can do a better job of leading their families. That, of course, is a deep burden of mine and I'm excited to see another man pursuing that issue, especially in a place like New York City.

Eric Metaxas is Another Man Trying

E100 Challenge

2011-11-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to a Bible Reading plan this year called "E100." It is the "Essential 100" passages from the Bible that tell the basic story of the Bible. Great approach for getting the big picture of the Bible in our head.

I have really enjoyed reading through E100 with some guys on the street. We've had some great conversations and the men have enjoyed the extended time reading scripture. You can purchase the cards here. They also have a guide with discussion questions for each section and a 'commentary' on each section to help guide your study.

Affair Proofing Marriage

2011-10-31T20:17:00.001-07:00

Catching up on FamilyLife Today podcasts: Listened to Ron and Nancy Anderson, who have written the book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome.

She was in a bad marriage, was unhappy, and began having an affair. Upon asking her dad for advice, he said, "I didn't raise you to be happy, I raised you to behave."

After confessing the affair to her husband one night, together they called the man she was having an affair with and told him she would never see him again. She said to him, "I am choosing to love my husband, even though my feelings are otherwise."

Reminded me of the line in Fireproof "You've got to lead your heart." The heart is wicked, deceived, easily pulled after vile things. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool..." Prov 28:26

Great message for today. You can listen at the following links:

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3

You can also buy the book here.

Books with Mom

2011-10-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

Mom was in town recently. Had to buy some books. The first and third on the left made it through the initial rounds and went home. Mom is reading Bloody Crimes and I am reading Churchill's War.

What is the Home for?

2011-08-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've been reading quite a bit of Wendell Berry lately. Some friends visited the other night, and we began discussing the state of marriage and family today, which reminded me of the following quote, which we read aloud and discussed:

“Marriage, in what is evidently its most popular version, is now on the one hand an intimate ‘relationship’ involving (ideally) two successful careerists in the same bed, and on the other hand a sort of private political system in which rights and interests must be constantly asserted and defended. Marriage, in other words, has now taken the form of divorce: a prolonged and impassioned negotiation as to how things shall be divided. During their understandably temporary association, the ‘married’ couple will typically consume a large quantity of merchandise and a large portion of each other.” - From What Are People For? p180.

After reading the quote I was also reminded of another:

“The modern household is the place where the consumptive couple do their consuming. Nothing productive is done there. Such work as is done there is done at the expense of the resident couple or family, and to the profit of suppliers of energy and household technology. For entertainment, the inmates consume television or purchase other consumable diversion elsewhere.”

These quotes shed much light on the problem of parenting in the modern household for me. Most couples have no inherent concept in their minds of the purpose of their home. It has by default been defined as a place to escape from work or school, rest from work in various forms (TV, yard work, video games, read), or catch up on extra work from the office. But the home in and of itself has very little productive function for the family. It has little unifying effect on a family, in fact, most families are highly divided in their own home – each person slipping off into their separate spheres of escape. (Thus the modern generational divided church is really just a natural result of what has already been occurring in the home for decades.) It should come as no surprise then that many adults and children want to escape the home altogether, chasing children and their activities all over the city. For many it is easier to escape the confusion of the home than to fight for unity among the family in the home.

It should also come as no surprise that it is incredibly difficult to engage children with household chores, as there is no immediate connection to such work and meaning in their lives. There was a day when if one did not engage in household work (gather eggs, milk the cow, can the vegetables, etc.) then you very well may have starved, or at the very least have been very hungry. Now the solution, if one is hungry, is not to work harder at home, it is to go make a purchase.

What is the Home for? This is the problematic question any couple must wrestle with. For us, the home is a place where we certainly do some of the above time-wasters, but predominantly in our minds, our home is a place for fostering relationships with each other and with neighbors with the hopes that some may come to know Christ. It’s almost like the neighborhood pub, but with sweet tea on tap instead.

That night our friends lamented the way one couple they know are so scattered by their kids activities. I concluded, "I don’t think your friends that are smothered and scattered by child sports will be able to change their behavior until they wrestle with the question of the purpose of their home, until they can answer together, 'What is our home for?'"

Back on the Bike today

2011-08-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

With the temps dropping, gas prices rising, and belts tightening, it's time to get back on the bike...

The Bike...

2011-06-14T14:05:00.002-07:00

In honor of full disclosure, The bike is back in the garage...

Popeye, Kidnapping, and Addictions

2011-06-01T10:10:00.001-07:00

Recently our family watched the movie Popeye, featuring Robin Williams with huge plastic forearms, singing through clenched teeth. I have a soft place in my heart for this movie, as it is the first feature film I recall seeing at the theaters - and if my memory serves me correctly, we even went TWICE (must have been a rough month for mom - or, more likely, I was especially well behaved. Mom, please don't spoil my memory with the facts in the comments).

In the movie, Wimpy, who has a weakness for hamburgers, is enticed by Bluto to steal Swee'Pea, Popeye's son, who was recently-acquired-by-basket-delivery. Bluto is secretly plotting to use Swee'Pea's uncanny ability to predict the future for his own gain, by making money off the mechanical horse races. But Popeye follows in hot pursuit, foiling Bluto's plan. A gripping plot indeed.

When Wimpy handed the baby to Bluto, my son asked, "Why did he steal the baby?" My response: "Because he is addicted to hamburgers." (My son did not see Bluto slip Wimpy a hamburger during the trade-off). We then discussed addictions and the nature of addictive behavior for the next few minutes. The final lesson?

Addictions will cause a person to do crazy things.

Addictions lead to all sorts of crazy behavior. Whether one is addicted to coffee, sugar, comic books, literature, country music, cleanliness, messiness, movies, sit-coms, soap-operas, truck-stop-junk-food, health food, Internet, cell-phones, solitude, diet coke, exercise, or sloth, when one is addicted, you are more likely to make sacrifices for that addiction, to serve that addiction, to neglect more important things for that addiction, to think about that thing and how you get more of that thing all the time, to do things that if you could step back and look at yourself, would seem absurd and silly, like swapping a baby for a hamburger.

Addictions will become such a part of a person that they will no longer be able to separate themselves from it. Their addiction becomes part of their identity. They will no longer be able to objectively look at themselves as they are - they become blind to the addiction.

John MacArthur in the book When Sinners Say "I Do" had this to say about this tendency:

Christians are rapidly losing sight of sin as the root of all human woes. And many Christians are explicitly denying that their own sin can be the cause of their personal anguish. More and more are attempting to explain the human dilemma in wholly unbiblical terms: temperament, addiction, dysfunctional families, the child within, codependency, and a host of other irresponsible escape mechanisms promoted by secular psychology.

The potential impact of such a drift is frightening. Remove the reality of sin, and you take away the possibility of repentance. Abolish the doctrine of human depravity and you void the divine plan of salvation. Erase the notion of personal guilt and you eliminate the need for a Savior.

Explaining away sin with more convenient terms has become the sanitized way of dealing with the unholy. One of the better books I've read this year on dealing with sin and "putting your sin to death" has been The Enemy Within by Kris Lundgaard. On pages 85-88, he offers the following encouragement and a few steps for the battle with sin:

“One of the means God has given us to overcome the power and deceit of the law of sin in us is to put our minds to work not just for obedience, but against sin. These are some ways you can use your head to weaken the flesh:

1. Thinking about the sovereignty of God. Think about the great Lawgiver who forbids sin. This helped keep Joseph out of bed with Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:9). When you come face to face with the lust of the flesh, think, “It is God who forbids this; the great Lawgiver, who rules in sovereignty over me, on whom I depend for every breath of life, and from whom I can expect my lot in this life and the next.”

2. Think about the punishment of sin. Keep in mind that “our God is a consuming fire” (Hebrews 10:29). To forget this or ignore this is to slap God in the face (Romans 1:32). Jesus counseled us to fear him “who can destroy both body and soul in hell” (Matthew 10:28).

3. Think about all the love and kindness of God, against whom every sin is committed. When God’s love touches your soul and moves you, and you know that every sin is against the Lover of your soul, you will not sin.
Is this the way to repay the Lord,
O Foolish and unwise people?
Is he not your Father, your Creator,
Who made you and formed you? (Deut 32:6)
4. Think about the blood and meditation of Christ.
For Christ’s love compels us… And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 Cor 5:14-15).
5. Think about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. If you fully consider how sin grieves the Spirit, how it defiles his dwelling place, how you lose and forfeit his comforts by it - this works against the lusting of sin.”

Try using the above steps to wage war against sin in your life - particularly in the arena of your mind. Begin by refusing to describe sin as anything other than sin. And know your limits and stick to them. Wimpy started small - by promising to pay for that which he could not afford ("I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Hamburger today.") He had no idea where that slippery slope would lead. Be watchful with sin, or it is only a matter of time before you'll be holding up signs at highway intersections that say "Will kidnap babies for food."

New book by David McCullough

2011-05-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

David McCullough, one of my favorite writers, has a new book about Americans in Paris in the late 1800's. A brief glimpse of the key characters he addresses reveals much about the French influence on American culture during this period. People like Harriet Beecher Stowe, Elizabeth Blackwell (first American woman doctor), P.T. Barnum, Samuel Morse (telegraph inventor), and James Fenimore Cooper (author of The Last of the Mohicans) all spent significant time in Paris during these years.

Check out the book website, where you can read a short summary of the book view the book trailer (different from the above video), an interactive time-line, and order the book (due out May 24th).

Do not move the ancient boundaries

2011-05-20T12:32:00.001-07:00

My father's office building sits on the edge of the Ohio river in downtown Louisville, Kentucky. The Ohio is near its widest here, stretching a mile between Kentucky and Indiana, flowing with more volume than the mighty Mississippi at their confluence. From the rear of his office, one has a panoramic view of the river and it's many sites: the canal & locks, the Colgate clock, the falls. It is a mysterious and majestic section, giving credence to the name "Ohio", which comes from the Iriquoian "oyo" meaning "beautiful." Thomas Jefferson agreed with their assessment and wrote "The Ohio is the most beautiful river on earth. Its current gentle, waters clear, and bosom smooth and unbroken by rocks and rapids, a single instance only excepted."

But with the beauty comes the risk of feeling its power all too intimately. My father has a front row window to the battle of the bulging river in these flooding days. He recently sent me this picture of the river's elevated stage:

On the left (out of the picture) is the Muhammed Ali Museum. if you look carefully in the middle of the picture, you can just see the TOP of a STOP sign. And the water was still rising.

My brother commented the following on this picture: "Even though it's dangerous, it's still really beautiful to see the river temporarily claim territory that's up for grabs."

That has always been true. The power of the river is amazingly seductive, and has always drawn me in with its mystery and strength. The memory of living close to this river inspired the following poem:

The mighty Ohio re-stakes its claim
Pouring over the plains
that man has mistakenly assumed
were always his domain
and now wait
for the mud laced parks to drain

While the Ohio flows on
And will not let us forget
There are boundaries in life that must be respected.
Though the water creeps back down
The slopes that direct it

Memories fade and are lost with time.
But tragedy comes again to those
That disregard the message sent long ago.

Living near a river like this serves as a regular reminder that there are real boundaries in life that must be respected. Want to build your house on the bank of the Ohio? go ahead. It is really beautiful. It also tends to flood, in a big, big way. Yeah, I know it is easy to forget about the flooding, even though it happens almost every year. And every decade or so it gets real messy. And every century or so it comes into the heart of the city.

Why is it that we so quickly forget the power that lies behind the river? Something within us tends to assume that the worst is not really possible, even though we own insurance of all types. Proverbs 22:28 says, "Do not move the ancient landmark that your fathers have set." Do not discard the wisdom of those that have gone before you. There is much to learn from the ancients.

There is a reason that all over the coast of Japan there are stone markers, placed hundreds of years before, that read "Do not build below this line." (read the article about them here). No one knows who placed these markers. Who were these ancient people? They were a people that loved their land and cared for the future generations. Yet many ignored the warnings, building below the line, where the water destroyed mercilessly.

We bought flood insurance this year for the first time. The former home owner was very assuring that the little creek trickling along the back edge of the property had never risen to the fence line, not in the entire forty year history of the home. Forty years is a long time for a man, yet a short history for a creek. Let us pray that those forty are a good representation of the last 4,000.

One simple way to help your kids be nicer and get better grades.

2011-05-03T12:52:00.001-07:00

The other night I put my son to bed early. He was being disagreeable. I was at the end of my fuse as well. The great slumber torture chamber seemed like the best way to deal with the problem at the time. But a funny thing happened: he slept later than normal, and we went to bed earlier than normal, and we slept later than normal. We were all severely sleep deprived and didn't realize it. The crankiness was really a symptom of a deeper issue: Sleep deprivation.

Sleep: it's something that no one can do without for very long, it is critical to life. Yet for some strange reason, it is also seen as a sign of fortitude to be able to avoid sleep. Those who sleep the least are praised the most.

Well here's a little secret that will finally give you the freedom to drive those screamin' demons to their cages with no regret: if you want your kids to be nicer, to be more alert, to get better grades, to not be overweight, and to be better athletes, there is one simple thing you can do: make sure they get more sleep.

Po Bonson, in his book Nuture Shock makes the case that kids today are getting one hour less sleep a night than kids did 30 years ago. Adults say, "no big deal, they'll get by - I do - they can too. What's one hour?" But the loss of sleep for adults is not nearly as critical as it is for a child.

Bonson points out that Children spend 40% of their sleep in the "slow-wave" stage, while adults spend only 4% in this stage, when the brain converts experiences into long-term memories. Children spend ten times as long in this important stage than adults do, so for every minute of sleep a child misses, they are cutting into a significant portion of their memory making, which will affect their school work, and it will do so in amazing ways. Bonson cites one study showing that the average A student sleeps 15 more minutes a night than a B student, which sleeps 15 minutes more than C students, and so on down the line. The hard part for adults here is that 15 minutes doesn't seem like much time. Kids are so good at dragging out the ritual for just a few more minutes - just one more drink of water, or trip to the bathroom, or body-slam on the couch won't hurt, will it? But when you start to think in terms of a LETTER GRADE, the difference stands out. And if you are well rested, you can do the math here - losing an hour of sleep a night turns an A student into an F student.

He also found that overweight kids had one thing in common - more than video games, inactivity, junk food - the one common denominator was that they got less sleep than the thin kids.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg on the results of losing sleep. Grab Bonson's book and read his short chapter on sleep - you will be astonished.

The NBA is also on to the relationship between sleep and performance. Studies done with players at Stanford show sleep loss affects free-throw percentages, reaction time, turnovers, and many other key parts of a player's game. Some NBA teams have re-structured their practice schedules to allow players to catch naps in the middle of the day, since most of their 'work' days go well into the night. You can listen to an interview with the NBA's sleep doctor here.

Two time MVP Steven Nash, almost 38 years old, credits his extended career in the NBA with discovering the art of napping. The sleep doctors also point out that your body does the most important injury repair work while you sleep, as well as muscle building/recovery.

Sleep also comes in handy when you find yourself irritable. Sometimes a short nap, just 15 minutes, will do wonders for a cranky parent. When I was a youth, I remember a minister at our church telling me he would take a nap whenever he was having an argument with his wife. Aside from the inherent dangers associated with increasing the tension in your marriage, ("Honey, in know you're upset right now and want to figure this out, but I tell you what, I really need to catch a few Z's. I'll be back in a few minutes."), this seems like a wise strategy, reminding me of AA's H.A.L.T. warning system: You are most likely to fall of the wagon when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or TIRED. Something as simple as sleeping can set your emotional balance right again.

Yet the stigma of our culture remains. You can surf the internet on the job for an hour and appear to be working, but if you drop your head down on the desk for 5 minutes of recharging, you risk your job. But the doggone President of the United States takes naps (at least many have been known to do so), so I say, follow our fearless leader.

But back to the issue of your kids. Sure, getting them more sleep is a great idea, but how do you do so? How can you outsmart the little midnight manipulators? Here's some tips to try:

1. Begin by reading more on sleep to help convince you of the importance of it (both for your kids and for you). Once you have your gumption screwed up, look in the mirror and repeat to yourself "I am the adult. My kids DO need sleep. I get to pick the bedtime. I am the adult. My kids DO need sleep. I get to pick the bedtime. I am the adult...." Repeat this as many times as necessary or until your wife calls the white coats.

2. Resist the pull to have your kids in every activity offered in the city. Will it really matter that your child won third-chair-violin for the 4yr old age bracket in the south-west corner county chamber orchestra? I don't think that will land on their college resume. But many have bought into the myth that kids have to be in every activity under the sun to be "well rounded." What did Abe Lincoln's dad do to make him well rounded? Handed him an axe and told him to split rails. Cutting out activities will allow you to be home in time to get everyone ready for bed without making you crazy.

3. Set a realistic bedtime FOR THE KIDS and stick to it.

4. Develop a nightly routine. Start winding them down gradually. We do this by reading at the end of the night. I try to get all their rigorous activities out of the way (wrestling, running, trampoline, wood-cutting, gravel-crushing, etc.) earlier in the evening and then have a gradual decline in activity toward bedtime. We sing and pray together, and I allow a little individual reading time before finally shutting out the lights.

5. Set a realistic bedtime FOR YOURSELF and stick to it. A friend of mine in college was bemoaning his inability to get up early and study his Bible, yet he couldn't get in bed till after midnight. Yes, you can cheat sleep for a little while, but it will eventually catch up to you. It becomes and endless cycle if you are always going to bed late and getting up too early. None of us are superheroes. You need sleep.

6. Make sure everyone is getting quality sleep. Make bedrooms as dark as possible. Use blackout curtains. Turn off all night lights, even dim any bright alarm clock lights. Use sleep masks if possible (this revolutionized my wife's sleep). Don't drink caffeine late at night. Make sure to drink lots of water throughout the day. Don't watch TV or check email late at night, which overstimulates the brain, making it difficult to wind down. Try sleeping without an alarm clock to see how much sleep your body naturally needs.

Sounds so simple doesn't it? Grandma used to call this "common sense." Yet we have so much cultural baggage to overcome these days. If you are not sleeping enough right now, something has to give. You have to make some hard choices about your schedule. That is probably the toughest choice that lies ahead.

Well, I'd say if you made it this far with this post, go reward yourself with a siesta!

Effective Communication for the Smallest Organization

2011-04-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I relayed some leadership principles from a pastor in Phoenix. One of the concepts was the following...

You HAVE to communicate. You have to explain why you're doing something, what will happen if you DON'T do it, and what you hope will happen if you DO do it. People often will not understand even your very simple ideas until you are sick of talking about it. That is when they are just beginning to hear it.

Why is this the case? Why is it that communication is so difficult in an organization? I mean, if the person leading the organization says something, even just once, every one should listen closely and respond, right? It is a strange reality that even when people are motivated by money, (i.e. listening to my boss may directly affect my pocketbook), they often still do not hear the mantras, the clear, obvious, repeated statements that shape an organization. (For example, try stating the 'core values' for your business/company right now.)

But this really shouldn't come as any surprise. Take the smallest organization that exists, the smallest unit of society, the family, and evaluate the way communication occurs there.

I love my wife, she loves me, we like each other, we live together, we share so much of life, yet we still mis-communicate. We still do not always understand or fully comprehend one another's vision for life moving forward. We may not always talk about it, and even when we do we may not listen. Or we may avoid talking about big issues for a season out of fear, hurriedness, awkwardness, or uncomfortableness. We still have disagreements about little things like where empty recycling items should rest in the kitchen before departing for their epic journey to the elusively placed recycling bin in the garage. We manage to miss each other on some of the more obvious things, and this doesn't even include communicating well with our children. All the above sounds slightly dysfunctional, yet I would say, based on my extensive research of other families, which means watching/stalking and piously judging all my friends and their marriages, that we're on the above side of average when it comes to communication.

Communication, even within your own family can be difficult, but as I quoted Dennis Rainey in the previous post, communication is the life-blood of an organization. Communication is the means by which you lead, love, guide, and direct your family through life. If you are going to lead your family well, you must learn to foster good communication.

Here are some tips for improving your communication with your family:

1. Do a weekly date night: Even if you can't get out on the town, set aside at least 1 hour to just sit on the couch and talk with your wife. Listen to her. Nod regularly. look into her eyes. Ask clarifying questions. Talk about things that seem to creep up and take your family by surprise. Right now our set up is for Thursday nights. One of those a month we go out, two of the other three we talk about finances and ministry (separate nights). The final night is a catch-all - no predetermined subject. Our consistency since moving (for the last month) has not been as great as I'd like - but that's my job to make sure we hold to it.

2. Plan out your week together on Sunday night: On Sunday night, I try to take an hour to think through my week. A few times lately I have sat in the kitchen while my wife does the same and we end up having GREAT conversations about the week. We never really planned to do this, but it has developed naturally over time.

3. Go to bed together WITH NO TV, INTERNET, OR EMAIL, in the room (but books are ok): It is amazing how many good conversations occur as you are drifting off to sleep. Last year I broke this rule and spent many nights working late into the night to meet some deadlines. It was out of necessity, but I am glad it is over. It has been good to return to our routine of going to bed together, and it has helped me get more sleep! It is a simple connection point, but the connection can be strong. If you have electronic devices in the room, there's little chance of conversations occurring. They numb the mind and prevent good conversation. Books are OK, however, mostly because I like books and want to self-justify my actions and have you join me, but also because they are easier to put down when someone starts talking.

4. Pray with your spouse every night: The simple act of praying together can make a huge difference in your communication.

5. Plan a yearly get-away: Weekly and daily communication is a must, but you also need to get away from the rut and routine of life once a year and talk about big picture items that cannot be solved in one evening. Things like schooling, vacations, dreams for the future, mission trips, ministry activities, and family sports/activities. Putting a plan in place helps your family focus on the main priorities for the year. FamilyLife offers a book called Getting Away to Get It Together to help you plan such a weekend.

6. Milestone celebrations with your kids: Whenever your child hits a key milestone, plan a celebration of some sort. FamilyLife has the Passport to Purity kit to help you plan a weekend away with your pre-teen to talk about purity. Last year I did an event with our son before he became an older brother. These events give you an opportunity to reinforce values that are important to you and also allow you to go deeper with your child.

7. Develop a list of family values: I have not done this one, but it is something other speak highly of. Steven Covey talks about the process for establishing these values in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Communication is hard, even with a small group of people. The only way it will ever happen well is if you are intentional. But it is worth the work. The other choice is to just passively allow your family to plod along with no clear direction from you. And just as with any organization, this leads to chaos, frustration, confusion, and eventually, a break down of relationships. Try starting one of the above items this week. If you have not done any, then start with #1 or #4, or whichever seems easiest to you.

Biking to work

2011-04-22T07:55:00.001-07:00

Recently I started biking to work three days a week. It is a seven mile journey each way which provides a good workout, time for processing the days events, and the margin to prepare the mind for home. I ride a mountain bike (for the terrain is varied) so my progress is slower than it could be. It takes 30-40 minutes, depending on the direction, weather, and the degree of tenderness that lingers within my backside.

I was partly inspired to ride by my brother Michael, who serves in the Army in Atlanta. He lives on the far north side, and commutes by utilizing his bike, the bus, and light rail system. I first thought he was a bit loopy for this - but then we visited his home and witnessed the results. The journey had made him both a better man (stronger, fitter, sharper of mind) and saved his family the added expense of another vehicle.

I was also partly inspired by the writings of Wendell Berry, which I have been consuming at a rapid pace over the last few months. One of the results of reading his works has been to think more about how to de-compartmentalize my life. Everything in life has a cost. Yes, all our machines and gadgets bring speed and efficiency to our lives, but at what cost? We often fail to consider, let alone count the costs of our daily lives. Berry tells the story of a neighbor, "I knew a man who, in the age of chainsaws, went right on cutting his wood with a handsaw and an axe. He was a healthier and saner man than I am. I shall let his memory trouble my thoughts."

Which reminded me of our days cutting and stacking wood at my parents home to heat their house. Swinging an axe brings a certain serenity and strength that stands apart from other activities. This is part of the reason I gave up my gym membership this year. I could never quite reconcile in my heart and mind why it is I would DRIVE my car to a building where I knew very few people (and they had little if any interest in knowing me) and then proceed to move items around for no obvious productive means except to improve my strength and mirror appeal. It often occurred to me that no farmer ever "went to the gym." He does not divide his work from his work-out, for the two occur together. So I canceled my gym membership, hopped on the bike, and joined some men at the office for lunch workouts. Not only do I save money on the gym membership, but also the gas, and I save time, and bring more calm to my soul.

The Killer D's

2011-04-15T07:57:00.001-07:00

Tommy Nelson, in his sermon "A Long Obedience" spoke for a moment about what he calls "The Killer D's," or the reasons why some Christians become eliminated from ministry. They are (starting at 6:13 in the message):

1. Depart: "They look good for a little while, but then they depart from biblical orthodoxy with some theological weirdness."

2. Disqualified: "They will get disqualified because of hypocrisy and sin. No one will listen to them anymore."

3. Distracted: "They will become distracted from spiritual things because they become worldly and covetous and materialistic. So now they're just succeeding in all the things that God doesn't even care about."

4. Divisive: "They can't serve in the body of Christ because all of their knowledge is in their head. They can't get along with warm blooded humans, and so they can't be used for God. And like a coal that is outside the fire, they just end up going out. they rattle around, but they make no impact."

5. Discouraged: "They just say 'I quit.' There's too much animosity, too much failure, 'I quit.'"

6. Danger: "Some Christians never ever do anything because of danger. Because 'I've got to become a marked man, to stand out, to stand alone for God.' and they just go silent.'"

Good reminder to watch out for these pitfalls in your own life, as these will not only hinder the ability of full-time Christian workers to be effective, but, more importantly, they will hinder a man's ability to serve his family.

Here are some antidotes to these Killer D's:

1. Stay sound theologically. Surround yourself with those that stand firm in the truth. Read your Bible regularly. Have a constant stream of trusted theological works infusing your thinking.

2. Continue to fight against sin and hypocrisy. Stay teachable. Surround yourself with men that have the stones to point out blind spots in your life. Take your wife's criticism with gratitude. Listen carefully to what she says. Apologize to your children when you mess up.

3. Focus on what is most important in life and strive for faithfulness. Make sure the primary voices influencing your life have a similar worldview as that to which you aspire.

4. Be real. Do not just be a virtual friend, be a real friend. Spend more time talking with your friends in person than you do emailing, texting and communicating with them on facebook combined. When you disagree, seek to understand, rather than to be understood.

5. When you feel discouraged, try sleeping, or exercising, or reading a good book. Do not just wallow in your pity and take it out on your family. Get active. The connection between the body and the mind is so much more important and complex than most compartmentalized American males realize. Get the blood flowing in the right direction. Do some physical labor.

6. Remember that you were called to live a life of courage, and that men are wired to take risks. Just make sure your risks are gospel focused. Risk for risk sake is insanity. Risk for the gospel's sake is life.

Some helpful leadership thoughts

2011-04-13T13:29:00.004-07:00

Chris Davis, of Whitton Avenue Bible Church, shared this list of leadership principles with me that he received from a pastor in the Phoenix area. Good stuff. Italics are my comments:

When approaching any change in an organization, start EVERY sentence/paragraph with "For now..." so people are OK with change when it happens (meaning... "we're testing this out and it may not be permanent, so don't freak out.")
Be yourself. There is a tendency to overemphasize your importance... ..and undervalue your uniqueness. i.e. no movement is doomed if you die off or stop being a part of it. Don't forget that. You're not that important. The world will go on without you. Yet you do have a unique way of looking at things that adds value to the organization. Don't minimize that either.
There is a difference between preferences and criticisms. --"It's too loud" is a preference. "You stink" is a criticism. Weigh your criticisms differently, based on who gives it.
Have a few key people around you who speak into the ministry.
You HAVE to communicate. You have to explain why you're doing something, what will happen if you DON'T do it, and what you hope will happen if you DO do it. This pastor shared an illustration of announcing for 6 weeks that they would need help setting up chairs for easter, then the day before easter 100's of people called the church office asking if they would have chairs. If they don't get chairs, they won't get your nuanced missional vision for the city. Remember,You are thinking about this stuff 24/7. Others are not.) This reminded me of a saying I often quote by Dennis Rainey. He says that just about the time when you think you are absolutely sick of talking about something, where you can't imagine even saying it again for any reason, that is the time when most people are just beginning to hear it for the first time.He also said "Communication is the life-blood of an organization."
Everyone is watching you. It's not fair, but they are. You can't be the exception to every rule. Chris relayed a story from this pastor when he was asked to move to the front of a food line and refusing for the above reason. You can't always break the rules and expect others to follow. I've appreciated Dennis' example of not taking first class flights (except for free upgrades) because of the precedent it establishes.
You have to be patient. Time is your friend, not your enemy. Be a patient dreamer. Hmmm... something our political leaders could appreciate.
Discipleship and raising up leaders are far more important than attendance. Ouch. This is a tough one. For most churches "growth" has come to singularly mean "more people attending on Sunday mornings." This is HARD because it is not nearly as measurable.
Nobody cares and you're not going to make a huge difference. i.e. keep your short life in perspective. The pastor shared a story of a MLB pitching coach who was illustrating a principle by talking about Sandy Koufax to a new crop of young players. The players said, "Who is Sandy Koufax?" Wow. How quickly we forget. He also noted the fact that you can buy full collections Chuck Swindoll's books packaged together in tiny print for a few dollars. He used to be the hottest preacher around! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. If you can get your ego out of the way, it will be so much easier to make decisions.

I have some further thoughts to share on number 5 in the coming days...

irony of theology

2011-04-11T08:00:00.001-07:00

Isn't it ironic that the "perspecuity of scripture" is a doctrine that describes how anyone can understand the basic message of scripture.... but yet how many people know what "perspecuity" means?

Resolutely Resolve

2011-04-09T13:13:00.001-07:00

No, it's not the right time of year for making resolutions, but I just learned about this poster of Jonathan Edwards' famous list of 70 resolutions. Check it out at theresolutionsposter.com.

The Enemy Within

2011-04-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite puritan works has been On the Mortification of Sin in the Believer by John Owen. Originally written in 1656, this 144 page abridgment of the much longer work (700+?) is surprisingly accessible and relevant for a contemporary audience. But be warned - the content is hard hitting. It comes at you with the subtlety of a charging bull on the streets of Pamplona; taking no notice of sacred territory, plowing through any obstruction with disregard for feelings and sacred cows. The book is voilent and bloody, but for all the right reasons. Owen unpacks Romans 8:13 at a level few dare to dive down as deeply (Rom 8:13 is "For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live"). Owen calls for the reader to put sin to death and describes all the different ways this can be accomplished and what it means.

Of course, many find Owen's works daunting. Mortification is actually a rather accessible volume, but still, some would rather cough at the doctors office than bend the cover back on this one. A friend recently introduced me to a re-working of this volume in a modern, popular form by Kris Lundgaard, called The Enemy Within. Being such a fan of Owen's volume, I picked it up hesitantly, skeptical about its comparative slaying power. My was I surprised. This has been the best book for personal spiritual growth that I've read in a long time. Lundgaard doesn't merely recycle Owen, he adds his own thoughts and great illustrations, combined with compelling writing. I felt as if I were reading a mash up of The War of Art and a Jonathan Edwards work - attacking the very essence of what causes sin to linger in our souls. The chapters are very short and have highly practical questions at the end. Take the time to pick it up - you won't be disappointed - though your sin may be.

Some Favorite Books from 2010

2011-01-17T20:49:00.001-07:00

Here are a few books read in 2010 that you might enjoy reading in 2011.

Bonhoeffer - One reviewer said that Bonhoeffer was "the right man for the right time." This seems to be the right biography at the right time about a fascinating figure in church history. It is a well written story and definitely worth taking the time to read. There have been a number of helpful reviews written of the book (here and here). You can also read a few of my favorite quotes from the book here. I would have liked to have seen more footnotes in the book, but overall was very pleased. Reading this book made me want to read more of Bonhoeffer's works, an impression for which I'm thankful.

Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell works to get at the reason why people rise to the top of their field of expertise. Bottom line: lots of hard work. He proposes a "10,000 hour" rule of thumb. An excellent reminder to keep gaining skills and knowledge in your field. Become an expert at something. And like investing, the earlier you start, the better (assuming you're investing in the right thing….). Reminds me of Proverbs 22:29, "Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men."

The Cost of Discipleship - The Bonhoeffer biography was so enjoyable, it increased my interest in reading his own works, so I began with a few pages from this classic every morning. The book had been on my shelf since college, and oh, how I wish I would have read it earlier! In TCOD, Bonhoeffer deals with the issue of "cheap grace" vs. "costly grace," and important topic with much relevance for today's church. I've since acquired two more of his works: Act and Being - his second dissertation, written at 24 years old, and his 'crown jewel,' Ethics, both of which are part of Fortress Press' 16-volume re-publishing of Bonhoeffer's works. It is rather humbling to know he wrote enough to fill up 16 volumes, all before he was executed by the Nazis at 39 years old (for his role in a plot to kill Hitler).

2,000 Years of Christ's Power, Vol 1. - This blog post was my introduction to these excellent volumes on Church History. I have a bit of a soft-spot for church history, though I recognize that not everyone else does, but this is quite readable and full of original source material (i.e. actual quotes from the church history figures). This volume deals with the age from the passing of the Apostles, up to Constantine (which is one of the more fascinating stages of church history). This is the first in a three volume series (with two more planned). You can purchase all three existing volumes together at a discount here. If you want something a bit more accessible and introductory, try Mark Knoll's excellent book Turning Points. He deals with 8 major events in the history of the church. Very helpful approach and covers the most important, influential, and well known eras in church history. Though a bit larger, my personal favorite one-volume church history (or, two volumes bound together) is Justo Gonzalez's The Story of Christianity and is available at a great price here. This is the most readable church history book I've run across - much better than the often used Church History in Plain Language (yes, it is plain language, so plain in fact that it approaches un-interesting). Plus many appreciate that Mr. Gonzalez does a good job of dealing outside of European church history alone.

What are People for? - A friend of mine mentioned Wendell Berry this summer, he said "If you were to take every occurrence of the word 'community' in Berry's works and replace it with the word 'church,' it would revolutionize the way we do church today." This piqued my interest, as I had heard other speak highly of Berry, a farmer, author and poet from Northern Kentucky. His burden is to grow local communities and local culture with local solutions (rather than national, removed, corporate solutions). This book is a collection of his essays, dealing with topics like Feminism, personal responsibility, the joys of farm life, and my personal favorite, "Why I will never own a computer." Though he makes a compelling case for avoiding the human Pavlovian instrument, I wonder if it is even possible to entertain such an idea in our age. Knowing that McCullough still does all his writing from a typewriter sure sets one to thinking about it (though I'm guessing it is not the typewriter alone that allows one to write like Mr. McCullough).

Flannery O'Connor - Collected Works - A great assembly of her short stories and novels. Within this collection are two stories that have brought about the most laughter ("Good Country People") and the most tears ("The River") in all my reading (aside from the river of tears shed during a 4^th grade hearing of Where the Red Fern Grows). O'Connor's writing violently exposes the oppressive ugliness of human nature, but in a way that causes one to relate to the ugliness. In her stories, one does not only identify with the hero of the story (because one is not often to be found) but also to the one who fails horribly. When I need a good heart check, and want to read excellent literature, when I need my inherent hypocrisy exposed, after Scripture, Flannery is the next best thing. This edition by The Library of America is printed on excellent paper and well bound.

Colonel Roosevelt - This is the highly anticipated (at least by myself) third volume of three in a series on Roosevelt. Edmund Morris wrote the first of these in 1979, so he has given a few years of thought to the towering personality of TR. I picked up and read this volume with vigor as soon as it was released in November. If you've not read about TR, I'd recommend reading the first volume in the series before tackling this one (selected quotes and anecdotes from the first volume can be read here). Edmund Morris' three works are the finest I've seen on TR and worth the investment. You can buy all three volumes in a hard bound set at a reasonable price here. You can also listen to a brief interview with the author on NPR.

Two for Kids

Crispin: Cross of Lead - Great story about a mid-evil boy trapped in the treachery of the feudal system. He meets a jolly man and begins to learn from a father-like figure he never had. Lots of good conversations about life and theology came out of this one as I read it to my son (the role of the church in daily life is often discussed between the main characters). A fun and engaging story as well.

The Church History ABC's - of course the church history lover in me salivated over this one. It's a great introductory book for young and old, giving one page and one letter of the alphabet for each of the 26 church history figures highlighted in the book (i.e. "E is for Edwards", etc.). Many interesting facts are revealed about the various figures, and more information is offered in the back for those who want to go deeper.

Two other Noteworthy Novels

Just finished Gilead by Marilyn Robinson, a novel which uniquely combines a memoir and a work of theology (never read anything like it), yet somehow, even with the theological conversations, it won a Pulitzer prize (the writing is superb). I'm currently wrapping up Henry James' The Ambassadors. Written in the late 1800's, James writes an interesting exploration into human nature with the most descriptive dialogue I've encountered in any work of fiction (descriptive, yet still readable). I've never read a book that does such a detailed job of describing the mannerisms of those engaged in awkward conversations. Reminds me that body language is central in communication (and a good reminder to avoid email/phone when addressing a difficult issue).

On Being Teachable

2011-01-12T19:42:00.004-07:00

A few years ago a colleague asked me to look over some facts and draw a conclusion. A few days later I gave my response, which was the exact opposite of what others had concluded about the same facts (and it wasn't because I was right). Where did I go wrong? I allowed my pre-understandings of the facts to guide me to the conclusion I wanted, rather than allowing the facts to speak for themselves. Bad move. Leaves one feeling a bit like their pants have fallen down while on stage at an important event.

Recently I listened to an interview with Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer on NPR. It's the first time I've heard a Supreme Court Justice interviewed on the radio, and I found it quite interesting to hear him discuss the way the court operates and how he makes up his mind in difficult cases.

The thing that I found most revealing about this interview was the shameless agenda of the interviewer and the way Justice Breyer responded to her. The interviewer, Terri Gross, had some pretty clear pre-understandings about what she thought the current Supreme Court was about. Her questions seemed designed to assist Mr. Breyer in slam dunking her ideas on home. Refreshingly, he did not join in the game, but responded with a patient disdain for the media characterizations of the court.

Here are a few of her questions (All quotes pulled from the transcript of the interview.)

GROSS: …I think a lot of Americans, a lot of court watchers, court reporters, see this court as a court with a bloc of activist conservative judges who are very strongly conservative and are very consciously trying to move the court and the country in a more conservative direction. And I'm wondering, from your seat on the bench, if you would agree with that perception?

___________________________________

GROSS: If we interpreted the Constitution only literally in the way that the framers had in mind, would we still have slavery? (Implying that those who hold to a conservative interpretation of the constitution are still in favor of slavery.)

___________________________________

GROSS: So, the outsider perspective is that all arguments now in the court are pitched to Justice Kennedy because he's perceived as the swing vote.

(implying that the conservatives control the court?)

No hiding her agenda there.

Here is a longer exchange between them:

GROSS: How would you compare the Roberts court versus the Rehnquist court? (i.e. please confirm for us how evil things are!)

Justice BREYER: Well, from the personal point of view you said it. The Roberts court is one where so far I've found myself more in dissent. You want a characterization in terms of conservative and liberal, but that's not my job. That's your job. That's the job of the press and the public to characterize. My job is to decide the cases, write the decisions as best I can.

GROSS: I guess I was wondering if you think Chief Justice Roberts is different as a chief justice than Chief Justice Rehnquist was.

Justice BREYER: Every new appointment is different. Every new person who comes on makes it a different court. So the difference is not just the individual, it's the reactions of the others to that person. White said that some time ago and I have found truer words were never spoken.

GROSS: But do they run the court differently to the extent that the chief justice runs the court?

Justice BREYER: No. No. The chief justice [is] in charge of administration. But each of us has a vote and each of us votes on everything.

Finally, I've included his response to a question about decision making and the way our human nature plays a part. It was refreshing to see him speak candidly about a very secret process. Basically she asks how he feels later after making a decision - is he worried that he ever makes the wrong call?

Justice BREYER: I've found it interesting. I bet it's true whether you're in business, whether you're in law, whatever field of life you're in, you have a tough decision to make, really tough, and you think, my goodness, this is evenly balanced. Oh my goodness, what will I do? But I'm sorry, time is passing. You better make up your mind. And so you do and you think this side has a slight edge. Now time passes. Do you think "I might have been wrong?" No. As time passes you begin to think, I think I was probably right. More time. Yeah, I was right. More time. I sure was right. More time. How did I think the opposite? That is called the self-protective psychology of human nature. (laughter)

Her interview techniques reminded me of how important it is that I enter into a situation with a keen awareness of my pre-understandings, as well as a teachable spirit so that real dialogue and understanding can take place. This is one of the main reasons I went to seminary, because I found myself often using the biblical data and facts to build a case for my predetermined conclusion. This works great if the two align, in which case you appear rather brilliant. But when they don't, the house of cards comes tumbling down. Then if you stick to your guns, one is left with no choice but to argue for the losing position more vehemently, and before long you are snarling like a rabid dog at anyone who might think otherwise. Not a pretty site. As Breyer noted, this is the self-protective part of human nature.

Reminding myself of the importance of being teachable is one of the main reasons I read the book Lying about Hitler by Richard Evans (I had recently read a couple of his books on the Third Reich from his very thorough and readable 3-volume series: see 1, 2, & 3). Lying about Hitler deals with a British liable case between two authors, one who was suing another for accusing him of twisting facts about Hitler in his historic works. The accused author made assertions such as; Hitler didn't really have a role in killing Jews, nor were as many killed as once thought. Richard Evans was called as an expert witness to provide evidence supporting the standard views on Hitler. And he sure did deliver. The amount of research and document searching noted in this book was overwhelming. I was surprised that Evans went into the case with a seemingly open mind. He was ready to tackle the facts. The book is tedious for its level of detail, and of course the conclusion is pretty obvious from the beginning, but reading it served as a great reminder to be teachable and to be fair with the facts, especially when it comes to Scripture.

As Churchill said "everyone can have their own opinions, but not their own facts."

Quotes from Bonhoeffer Biography

2010-12-23T22:39:00.001-07:00

A few months ago Dennis Rainey turned me on to a new Biography about Dietrich Bonhoeffer. It was one of the more refreshing and inspiring books I read this year. For those who don’t know much about Bonhoeffer: he was a German theologian and pastor who joined the resistance movement in Germany during WWII, which eventually lead to his capture and execution for the role he played in plotting an assassination attempt on Hitler. He was a man of courage, grit, resolve, integrity, and a man of deep thought and action (in fact, ‘thought’ only made sense to him when married to ‘action.’)

I thought you might enjoy reading some of the quotes from the biography about him over the holidays. There are some real zingers here, and quite a mixture of topics – some are theological, some on leadership, some on action and truth. So if the list below seems too long, skim for the topics of your interest. Some of the quotes are directly from Bonhoeffer; some are by others about him. It should be clear as you begin to read. Italics (except for isolated words of emphasis) are comments/clarification by me. Read a few in the mornings this week - especially the one “On Christ” as you prepare to worship on Christmas.

If you’re looking for a good book to put on your reading list for 2011, I HIGHLY recommend it! (you can read a good review of the book here).

I enjoyed the book so much that I began reading a few pages from his classic The Cost of Discipleship every morning (the book has been on my shelf since college - and oh, how I wish I would have read it when I bought it!) I’ve found his story and writing so encouraging and inspiring, I’ve since acquired two more of his works: Act and Being - his second dissertation, written at 24 years old (thank you Jimmy B.!), and his ‘crown jewel,’ Ethics, both of which are part of Fortress Press’ 16-volume re-publishing of Bonhoeffer’s works. It’s pretty humbling to know that he wrote enough to fill up 16 volumes, all before he was executed by the Nazis at 39 years old (for his role in a plot to kill Hitler).

______________________________________

On their family interaction: “He could not stand empty talk. He senses unfailingly whether the other person meant what he said … In the Bonhoeffer family one learnt to think before asking a question or making a remark.”

On preaching: “I have long thought that sermons had a center that, if you hit it, would move anyone or confront them with a decision. I no longer believe that. First of all, a sermon can never grasp the center, but can only itself be grasped by it, by Christ. And then Christ becomes flesh as much in the word of the pietists as in that of the clerics or of the religious socialists, and these empirical connections actually pose difficulties for preaching that are absolute, not merely relative.”

On Christ: “One admires Christ according to aesthetic categories as an aesthetic genius, calls him the greatest ethicist; one admires his going to his death as a heroic sacrifice for his ideas. Only one thing one doesn’t do: one doesn’t take him seriously. That is, one doesn’t bring the centre of his or her own life into contact with the claim of Christ to speak the revelation of God and to be that revelation. One maintains a distance between himself or herself and the word of Christ, and allow no serious encounter to take place. I can doubtless live with or without Jesus as a religious genius, as an ethicist, as a gentleman - just as, after all, I can also live without Plato and Kant… Should, however there be something in Christ that claims my life entirely with the full seriousness that her God himself speaks and if the word of God once became present only in Christ, then Christ has not only relative but absolute, urgent significance for me… Understanding Christ means taking Christ seriously. Understanding this claim means taking seriously his absolute claim on our commitment. And it is now of importance for us to clarify the seriousness of this matter and to extricate Christ from the secularization process in which he has been incorporated since the Enlightenment.”

On Leadership: “A true leader must know the limitations of his authority…If he understand his function in any other way than as it is rooted in fact, if he does not continually tell his followers quite clearly of the limited nature of his task and of their own responsibility, if he allows himself to surrender to the wishes of his followers, who would always make him their idol - then the image of the Leader will pass over into the image of the mis-leader, and he will be acing in a criminal way not only toward those he lead, but also towards himself. The true Leader must always be able to disillusion. It is just this that is his responsibility and his real object. He must lead his following away from the authority of his person to the recognition of the real authority of orders and offices… he must radically refuse to become the appeal, the idol, i.e. the ultimate authority of those whom he leads… he serves the order of the state, of the community, and his service can be of incomparable value. But only so long as he keeps strictly in his place… [H]e has to lead the individual into his own maturity…”

On Standing up for what is right: This is a famous quote by Niemöller, who helped start the Confessing Church in Germany.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out -

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out -

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out -

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me -

And there was no one left to speak for me.

On the importance of taking action: Written while he was in the USA - planning to return to Germany

“To procrastinate and prevaricate simply because you’re afraid of erring, when others—I mean our brethren in Germany—must make infinitely more difficult decisions every day, seems to me almost to run counter to love. To delay or fail to make decisions may be more sinful than to make wrong decision out of faith and love… [I]n this particular case it really is now or never. “Too late” means “never.”…

“Should [we] fail to realize this,… then the ecumenical movement is no longer the church, but a useless association in which fine speeches are made. “If you do not believe, you will not be established”; to believe, however, means to decide… We must shake off our fear of this world - the cause of Christ is at stake, and are we to be found sleeping?... Christ is looking down at us and asking whether there is anyone left who confesses faith in him.

On the Sermon on the Mount: “I would only achieve true inner clarity and honesty by really starting to take the Sermon on the Mount seriously. “

On Pastoral Work: “Theological work and real pastoral fellowship can only grow in a life which is governed by gathering round the Word morning and evening and by fixed times of prayer.”

On his Humility: “He never wanted his classes… to become a cult of personality, centered on him. He was interested only in persuading via reason.” Bonhoeffer helped start a college to train pastors in Germany and donated his entire theological Library to the cause.

More On Preaching: “Bethge [best friend] remembered some of Bonhoeffers advice: ‘Write your sermon in daylight; do now write it all at once; ‘in Christ’ there is no room for conditional clauses; the first minutes on the pulpit are the most favorable, so do not waste them with generalities but confront the congregation straight off with the core of the matter; extemporaneous preaching can be done by anyone who really know the Bible.”

On the Tyranny of finances: “Bonhoeffer knew that something of this unwillingness to speak out with boldness [by pastors in the state church against the state church] had to do with money. The state provided financial security for the pastors of Germany, and even pastors in the Confessing church would jeopardize their incomes only to a certain point.”

On optimism: “Bonhoeffer was an eternal optimist because he believed what God said through the Scriptures. He knew that whatever befell him or the faithful brethren would open new opportunities in which God would operate, in which his provision would become clear.”

On principles: “Christians cannot be governed by mere principles. Principles could carry one only so far. At some point every person must hear from God, must know what God was calling him to do, apart from others.”

On action: he believed he “Wasn’t free to do as he pleased. Bonhoeffer never arrived at decisions easily, but once he saw things clearly, he moved forward.”

On the foolishness of the cross: “In a world where success is the measure and justification of all things the figure of Him who was sentenced and crucified remains a stranger and is at best the object of pity. The world will allow itself to be subdued only by success. It is not ideas or opinions which decide, but deeds. Success alone justifies wrongs done… With a frankness and off-handedness which no other earthly power could permit itself, history appeals in its own cause to the dictum that the end justifies the means… The figure of the Crucified invalidates all thought which takes success for its standard.”

On Truth: God’s standard of truth entailed more than merely “not lying.” In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “You have heard it said… but I say unto you.” Jesus took the Old Testament laws to a deeper level of meaning and obedience, from the “letter of the law” to the “Spirit of the Law.” Following the letter of the law was the dead “religion” of which Barth, among others, had written. It was man’s attempt to deceive God into thinking one was being obedient, which was a far greater deception. God always required something deeper than religious legalism.

On prayer: “For him prayer was the display of the strongest possible activity.”

On guilt - “Bonhoeffer knew that to live in fear of incurring ‘guilt’ was itself sinful. God wanted his beloved children to operate out of freedom and joy to do what was right and good, not out of fear of making a mistake. To live in fear and guilt was to be ‘religious’ in the pejorative sense that Bonhoeffer so often talked and preached about. He knew that to act freely could mean inadvertently doing wrong and incurring guilt. In fact, he felt that living this way meant that it was impossible to avoid incurring guilt, but if one wished to live responsibly and fully, one would be willing to do so.”

On Love in Marriage: “It’s not your love that sustains marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” Letter from prison for the wedding of his sister Renate, and his best friend Eberhard Bethge.

On his courage: “Bonhoeffer was not ‘naturally’ strong and courageous. His equanimity was the result of self-discipline, of deliberately turning to God.”

On suffering: “If we survive during these coming weeks or months, we shall be able to see quite clearly that all has turned out for the best. The idea that we could have avoided many of life’ difficulties if we had taken things more cautiously is too foolish to be entertained for a moment. As I look back on your past I am so convince that what has happened hitherto has been right, that I feel that what is happening now is right too. To renounce a full life and its real joys in order to avoid pain is neither Christian nor human.”

On being good: “those who wish even to focus on the problem of a Christian ethic are faced with an outrageous demand - from the outset they must give up, as inappropriate to this topic, the very two questions that led them to deal with the ethical problem: ‘How can I be good?’ and ‘How can I do something good?’ Instead they must ask the wholly other, completely different question: ‘What is the will of God?’”… so there are no ethics apart from doing God’s will “All concepts of reality that ignore Jesus Christ are abstractions.”

On principles (again): “Principles are only tools in the hands of God; they will soon be thrown away when they are no longer useful.”

On Discipline (Poem):

If you set out to seek freedom, then learn above all things

To govern your soul and your senses, for fear that your passions

And longing may lead you away from the path you should follow.

Chaste be your mind an d your body, and both in subjection,

Obediently steadfastly seeking the aim set before them;

Only through discipline may a man learn to be free.

On integrity - “A human being’s moral integrity begins when he is prepared to sacrifice his life for his convictions.”

On Service: “I think what really matters is that the right kind of work renders one unselfish, and that a person whose heart is filled with personal interests and concerns develops a desire for such unselfishness in the service of others.

On Suffering (poem):

Should it be ours to drain the cup of grieving

Even to the dregs of pain, at thy command,

We will not falter, thankfully receiving

All that is given by thy loving hand.

But should it be thy will once more to release us

To life’s enjoyment and its good sunshine,

That which we’ve learned from sorrow shall increase us,

and all our life be dedicate as thine.

On Perseverance: “He never tired of repeating that the only fight which is lost is that which we give up.”

His last words: (reported by a fellow prisoner) “…he drew me aside - ‘This is the end,’ he said. ‘For me the beginning of life.’”

On taking Action: “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Reminds me of two quotes I’ve often heard from Dennis Rainey: “The middle of the road is a great place to get run over” and “No decision is still a decision.”

Background Story Behind "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day."

2010-12-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

FamilyLife publishes a weekly article called The Marriage Memo. The memo for this week was especially interesting, giving the background behind the the hymn "I Head the Bells on Christmas Day" (taken from a poem by Longfellow).

Might be fun to share this with your family tonight and to have a conversation.
You can sign up to receive the Marriage Memo via email here.

The Bells of Hope
by Dave Boehi

Christmas was not a happy time for him.

His country was embroiled in a war he hated. His own son had returned home with severe wounds.

He also grieved deeply for his beloved wife, who had died after a freak accident in their home two years before. On the first Christmas after losing her, he wrote, "How inexpressibly sad are all holidays." Six months later he wrote, "I can make no record of these days. Better leave them wrapped in silence. Perhaps someday God will give me peace."

Indeed, the very idea of "peace on earth"--proclaimed by the angels upon Christ's birth and echoed by the church bells he heard on Christmas Day--seemed like a terrible joke.

And so on Christmas Day in 1863, with the American Civil War still raging, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote a poem called "Christmas Bells."

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Today we know these words from the song that was inspired by Longfellow's poem: "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." Two of Longfellow's verses, referring to the Civil War, do not appear in the song:

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South
And with the sound the carols drowned
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent
And made forlorn the households born
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Longfellow's next verse, which does appear in the song, may be the saddest words I've seen in a Christmas carol. They reflect the misery of a man who felt no hope:

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!"

Fortunately the poem does not end there. For somehow the Christmas bells that morning reminded Longfellow of a deeper truth:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, goodwill to men!"

When life goes wrong

"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" is one of my favorite carols because it is so honest and yet, in the end, so full of hope.

We all face times when life goes wrong and we feel despair. The despair after the death of a loved one, or the despair that accompanies a life-threatening disease. The despair of a marriage relationship that has drifted into isolation. The despair of a child who rejects everything you believe. The despair of a problem at work that you can't solve, or a career that feels like it's going nowhere. The despair of feeling powerless to break free of a secret sin.

Longfellow's dark cloud began to lift when he chose to focus on the fact that God is alive, that He is sovereign and has a greater plan than we can understand. We will never see the type of "peace on earth" that so many long for, because the heart of man remains unchanged. But we can experience peace in our hearts when we put our faith and trust in the God who created the universe. I think that's the kind of peace Longfellow finally experienced.

It's the same truth that the biblical character Job understood after losing everything he had. In the end he realized he needed to put his trust totally in God. "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted," he told God. "... Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know" (Job 42:2-3).

Choosing to trust God

Over the years I've interviewed a number of married couples who had experienced the type of hardships that doom many relationships--financial difficulties, death of a child, debilitating disease, and more. They all faced a crisis of faith, when they had to come to terms with the fact that life was not going as they had envisioned. They only experienced healing and peace when they acknowledged their trust in the God who created them and had a plan for their lives.

One husband, overwhelmed with the reality of raising a child with special needs and the pressure it was putting on his marriage, said, "I remember praying in the midst of my tears, Lord, I have nothing to believe in if I can't believe You are good and You are sovereign. I'm not sure I feel that, but if it's not true, then what's life about? I am going to choose to believe that you would not allow anything but good to come into my life."

On that December morning in 1863, Longfellow recognized these same truths, that "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep." Christmas reminds us that God demonstrated His goodness and sovereignty by sending His son to live on earth and pay the penalty for our sin so that we could experience true peace with God. As Romans 5:8 tells us, "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
God reached down to a world of despair and gave it hope.

Then ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

[A contemporary rendition of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" was recorded by the group Casting Crowns. Click here to watch it on YouTube.]

© Copyright 2010 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Theodore Roosevelt

2010-11-23T21:29:00.001-07:00

Earlier this year I read the first of three volumes on Teddy Roosevelt by Edmund Morris, called The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt (I’ve also read the second volume, and the third volume, just published, arrived at my home TODAY).

I’ve included some of the more interesting quotes/anecdotes from the book below. Comments marked with an italicized JCM and/or in [brackets] are by me. There are some gems in here. Print it out and peruse through it during the T-day break. Read a quote or two during the time-outs of the football games. You won’t be disappointed!

If you’ve not read much on TR, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the book. Edmund Morris’ three works are the finest I’ve seen on TR and worth the investment. You can buy all three volumes in a hard bound set at a reasonable price here.

You can also listen to a brief interview with the author on NPR.

_________________________________________________

On TR’s Memory:“authors are embarrassed, during Presidential audiences, to hear long quotes from their works which they themselves have forgotten. Congressmen know that it is useless to contest him on facts and figures. He astonishes the diplomat count Albert Apponyi by reciting, almost verbatim, a long piece of Hungarian historical literature: when the count expresses surprise, Roosevelt says he has neither seen nor thought of the document in twenty years.”… “I remember a book I had read some time ago, and as I talked the pages of the book came before my eyes.”

On Reading: “The president manages to get through one book a day even when he is busy. Owen Wister has lent him a book shortly before a full evening’s entertainment at the white house, and been astonished to hear a complete review of it over breakfast. “Somewhere between six one evening and eight-thirty next morning, beside his dressing and his dinner and his guests and his sleep, he had read a volume of three-hundred-and-odd pages, and missed nothing of significance that it contained.”” – JCM: rough estimates are that TR read approximately 500 books/yr.

Advice from his Father -“Theodore, you have the mind but you have not the body, and without the help of the body the mind cannot go as far as it should. You must make your body. It is hard drudgery to make one’s body, but I know you will do it.” JCM: TR adored his father and leaned heavily upon him for wisdom and direction.

On affection and gratitude for his father: “I remember so well how, years ago, when I was a weak, asthmatic child, he used to walk up and down with me in his arms for hours together, night after night, and oh, how my heart pains me when I think that I never was able to do anything for him in his last illness!”… “Years afterward” Corinne [his sister] recalled, “when the college boy of 1878 was entering upon his duties as President of the US, he told me frequently that he never took any serious step or made any vital decision for his country without thinking first what position his father would have taken on the question.”

On Opportunities: “It’s not often that a man can make opportunities for himself. But he can put himself in such shape that when or if the opportunities come he is ready to take advantage of them.”

On Depression: “Black care [i.e. depression] rarely sits behind a rider whose pace is fast enough.”

On Writing: “writers write best when removed from the scene that they are describing…” [TR was a prolific writer – authoring 35 books, hundreds of articles, and 150,000 letters in his lifetime.]

On Falling in the Frozen, Swollen Missouri river: Roosevelt actually enjoyed the experience. A few days later he again swam across the river with Manitou [his horse], at a point where there were no spectators to rescue him. “I had to strike my own line for twenty miles over broken country before I reached home and could dry myself,” he boasted to Bamie [his sister]. “However it all makes me feel very healthy and strong.”

On the Benefits of the ranch life: “He had gone west sickly, foppish, and racked with personal despair; during his time there he had built a massive body, repaired his soul, and learned to live on equal terms with men poorer and rougher than himself.”… TR said, “If not for north Dakota, I would not have become president of the U.S.A.!”

TR’s shrewdness - “TR argued that honest enforcement of an unpopular law was the most effective way to bring about its repeal. Legislators should think twice in future about passing laws to favor some voters, the neglecting them to please others.” [quoted during his term as police chief of NYC] JCM: Reminds me of the adage that the best way to prove an order is stupid is to execute it.

His strong response to being told he might be president one day.

“Never, never, you must never either of you remind a man at work on a political job that he may be President. It almost always kills him politically. He loses his nerve; he can’t do his work; he give sup the very traits that are making him a possibility. I, for instance I am going to do great things here, hard things that require all the courage, ability, work that I am capable of… but if I get to thinking of what it might lead to-”

He stopped, held us off, and looked into our faces with his face screwed up into a knot, as with lowered voice he said slowly: “I must be wanting to be President. Every young man does. But I won’t let myself think of it; I must not, because if I do, I will begin to work for it, I’ll be careful, calculating, cautious in word and act, and so-I’ll beat myself. See?”

Again he looked at us as if we were enemies; then he threw us away from him and went back to his desk.

“Go on away, now,” he said, “and don’t you ever mention the-don’t you ever mention that to me again.”

On Integrity: Bram Stoker, [author of Dracula], After watching TR in action at a literary dinner table,… wrote in his diary, “Must be President someday. A man you can’t cajole, can’t frighten, can’t buy.”

On War and Peace : “To be prepared for war is the most effectual means to promote peace.” “it is too late to prepare for war when the time for peace has passed.”

On cowardice: “All the great masterful races have been fighting races; and the minute that a race loses the hard fighting virus, then… it has lost its proud right to stand as the equal of the best.”… “cowardice in a race, as in an individual, is the unpardonable sin.”

On diplomacy: “Diplomacy, is utterly useless when there is no force behind it: the diplomat is the servant, not the master of the soldier.”

On the appeal of TR - “Years later, White tried to analyze the element of TRs conquering ability. It was not social superiority, he decided, nor political eminence, nor erudition; it was something vaguer and more spiritual, ‘the undefinable equation of his identity, body, mind, emotion, the soul of him.. It was youth, and the new order calling youth away from the old order. It was the inexorable coming of change into life, the passing of the old into the new.’”

Great leaders are great followers: “I don’t suppose I shall ever again have a chief under whom I shall enjoy serving as I have enjoyed serving under you… I hate to leave you more than I can say.” [written after resigning from his post as assistant secretary of the navy to head up the Rough Riders in the Spanish American war].

Friends thought he was crazy to go to war: “A man of unbounded energy and force,” secretary Long remarked in his diary. “He thinks he is following his highest ideal, whereas, in fact, as without exception every one of his friends advises him, he is acting like a fool. And, yet, how absurd all this will sound if, by some turn of fortune, he should accomplish some great thing and strike a very high mark.”

On Character: “he was too strong a man to be susceptible to flattery.”

“I should heartily despise the public servant who failed to do his duty because it might jeopardize his own future.”

And the quote for which he is likely best known…

“I have always been fond of the West African Proverb: ‘Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.’”

On Reforming Halloween - one piece of candy at a time

2010-11-01T12:27:00.002-07:00

5:30 PM on October 31st 2010, my wife yells out "we don't have any candy for tonight!" A quick trip to Dollar General solves the problem. Once inside I'm confronted with a wall of seriously under-stocked corn-syrup-based, food-coloring-laden, excessive-plastic-packaging madness. Four bags should be enough for the insanity that's about to ensue at our front door. I'll be like a float rider at Mardi-Gras, tossing packages of instant delight to the flock of front lawn free loaders.

Two chairs, a good book, and a baby entertaining device were placed on the porch just as the sun began to fade below the horizon. Now the waiting begins, and wait I did. A grand total of two cars (what ever happened to walking?) came to our home. Not the festive atmosphere recalled from days gone by.

But the time was not a loss. There was a plan in place for those two families. This was the year that all the innocent Halloween bystanders would come to learn about the real October 31st holiday: Reformation day.

Each person that came to the door received one piece of candy, and then were asked, "If you can answer a question, I'll give you one more piece." All were eager to participate.

Luther's Seal

QUESTION: "What happened on this day almost 500 years ago."

Silence unanimously ensued. Not even one attempt at a response.

The follow up questions went "Have you heard of Martin Luther?"

More silence.

I gave a brief summary of the Reformation to all and most listened intently. One boy (who was pushing the international trick-or-treat age limit) even said, "Huh. I learned something new today."

Mission accomplished. One child enlightened. Many left behind.
Successfully sowing seeds for Church History.

Update from Son on Rwanda

2010-10-19T07:15:00.001-07:00

My son wrote a report on our time in Rwanda. My wife added the pictures. You can read it here on my wife's blog.

I cannot say enough about the resilience of my son on this trip. As a six year old, he endured the unknown and the frantic pace better than many adults would. I don't think he experienced any jet lag in either direction, and he slept like a champ on the plane. The power nap served him well. He was adventurous with the food, he was always ready to go and do at a moments notice, and always ready for an adventure. What an amazing guy.

Update from Rwanda

2010-10-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

Julie here, posting for John. He's in Rwanda, Africa and I thought his peeps would want to read an email he sent to me (and copied Alphonse, our Rwandan college friend who's a college student in Little Rock.)

Reminder of the cast of characters:
- Pam, John's mom, is in Rwanda with John and John Isaac
- Alphonse - the Rwandan college student we've befriended here in Little Rock
- Alphonsine - sister to Alphonse, who lives in Rwanda.
- Alphonse's parents and grandmother do not speak any English.

The one thing John Isaac said to John (not recorded below) that thrilled my soul: "Mom was right, I wish I'd brought more of my stuff to give away."

Of course I love hearing I'm right, but even more than that is the fact that John Isaac is realizing he has so much stuff!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: John Majors
Date: Sun, Oct 10, 2010 at 10:42 AM
Subject: trip to Eastern Rwanda
To: Julie Majors
Cc: alphonse MUGENZI

Well it was quite a day. We left our house around 4:30 AM to head to the national park (Akagere). It was fun to be up so early and see the streets of Kigali so empty. A rare site indeed. Reminds me of the last time I was on the streets at 4:30. Not a memory I’m quick to repeat. John Isaac slept a portion of the way, which was good!

We arrived at the park with little problem. I enjoyed the drive and the memories of all the places from our trip to Gahini last year. We were the first to arrive at the park and immediately John Isaac was making friends. I told mom that we cannot compete with his blond hair and smile. We took pictures with the gate attendants and started out with our ‘guide’ (or basically a man with a radio to help us find the animals). I did not realize how large of a park it is - 1800 km2 - [Julie's Google conversion: almost 700 square miles] until we drove for 3 hours in just the bottom 5th of the park. Within the first 5 minutes we saw a Giraffe, wart hogs, and baboons. We also saw some amazing birds. Wish I had a bird book! One crane type bird was as big as a pre-teen. Huge.

We hoped to see an elephant, but it was not to be. Lots of hippos sticking their eyes out of the water. We scurried through the rest of the park and I enjoyed the ride, though I think the rest of the party (including the driver and the guide) were ready to be back. I can only guess as to how bored of this drive they both must be, having done it so many times. JI fell asleep again after we dropped off the guide and slept until we arrived at the intersection that leads to Alphonse’s hometown. We waited in the car for John to arrive (Alphonse’s brother) with a flock of small children rapidly growing in size next to the car. The driver (Pierre) attempted to shoo them away a number of times, but it is a fruitless effort, like holding water in your hand. But they were not bothering us - the children are so adorable.

John arrived and we went to his town and had an amazing time. First we visited the grandmother. She was full of joy. We sat in her house for 5 minutes or so then went to Alphonse’s house. I walked while the rest drove and we gathered quite a crowd along the way. The family was incredibly gracious, and we felt very welcomed. Mom and I were both amazed by the number of children gathered next to the door, just staring at us. John said (his English was quite good) that for many of them, this was a once in a lifetime experience to have a Muzungu in their village. We gave the gifts from Alphonse and a few others and then shared some cokes and fantas (a highlight for JI). We spent some time telling them what a great son they had with Alphonse and that I could tell they were great parents.

We then ate a fabulous lunch - I wish I could have fit more in my stomach! Everything was delicious. The time passed too quickly, and after 2 hours it was time to go. We toured the farm, saw the cows, and then received some final gifts of fruits and baskets - very gracious. Of course, the highlight was when the youngest boy (Gustav?) delivered a LIVE CHICKEN to John Isaac as a gift! Boy was that exciting! The hardest part was trying to explain that we could not take it back to America with us - they would not let it on the plane. But I think they understand. I told them that we would leave it there and that it would be our chicken at our home in Rwanda and that we would eat the eggs if we returned again. Maybe they might even name it after us?

After gifts we took at least 1,000 pictures with everyone, which was much of fun as well. I think we could have taken pictures the rest of the day, but we loaded in the car with John and Alphonsine (who rode to town) and left by 3PM. I was sad when Alphonsine asked us to come to her house as well, as it was time for us to return home (and the driver needed to get back as well). Maybe another time - as it would have been an honor to see her new home. She showed us pictures of the wedding and they were spectacular (we have a few to give to Alphonse). Quite impressive with the dress and the ceremony.

The return drive was a delight as we were able to see more of the beautiful Rwandan countryside. So comforting. I’m glad it worked out for us to go. Definitiely the highlight of the trip so far!

This morning we went to a church in Byumba = first time i'd been north. The drive was pretty amazing and the city was spectacular, as it is built right on top of a hill. i must say, however, that the church service was a bit too long for all of us: FOUR HOURS!!!!!!!! Which was followed up with a lunch and another mini-sermon. It was a long morning. We were asked to visit other homes afterwards, but we declined (I said my mom was too tired - and she didn't mind.) It was tiring, but it was still a fun experience. Right now it is "Raining Cats and Dogs" (though Mom noted that she had not seen a cat here yet, and only two dogs) - and the sound on the roof is quite comforting. I broke down last night and had my american fix - as I went to a local restaurant in the evening and watched an American movie and met other Americans working in the country. Fun time!

Piper on Reading

2010-05-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

One other thought on reading: I heard Piper say recently, and publicly, that he only reads about 10 books a year. He said he can read no faster than he can talk. A good reminder that you don’t have to be an amazing reader to have an impact for the kingdom. It’s more important to be faithful where God has you and to be faithful in the little things (Luke 16:10).

The Role of Reading in the Life of the Busy Believer

2010-05-20T14:59:00.002-07:00

After the recent post on my visit to the majestic Mohler museum and library, a friend emailed me the following question:

I have many friends who are passionate followers of Jesus, who do and have worked in the market place for years, and who feel tremendous guilt when they read about Mohler's reading habits. Personally, I believe that there are people who waste five or six hours a day doing other things and that this can be redeemed by reading. However, I would postulate that reading in and of itself has become in scholarly circles and many Christian circles a type of idol that people devote inordinate amounts of time to when they could be actively involved in people's lives. I fully embrace a view of reading that Paul had (Ephesians 3:4-5) and one that can be extrapolated from the wisdom literature concerning walking with the wise. I also realize that immersing oneself in various literature can inspire and prepare you for untold opportunities to speak into other people's lives. That being said what place in the average believer's life do you think reading should have?

Great question, and one that deserves an answer. The following is my response (with some minor additions and/or clarifications to our original interaction):

Short Answer

For the average believer, whether one reads or does not read is not the issue as much as the importance of developing a lifestyle of learning and growing and pursuing Christ in all areas of life, instead of passively wandering through the motions of the Christian life. With great audio books, sermons, and interviews, reading as a means of Christian growth is not as critical as it once was. The question becomes, are people passionately pursuing Christ and taking advantage of the available resources for growth? Long commutes or time on the treadmill can easily be turned into 30 minutes a day of rich mentoring and resourcing through audio content and books that are so readily available. Reading should serve and help, and balance must be sought in this pursuit (I Cor. 6:12). For instance, a man in his 30's with a job, wife and kids should use whatever free time he has to grow in his Biblical leadership in those areas, making sure to prioritize them along with his own growth as a follower of Christ. The temptation for many men in this stage of life is to become overly focused on the 'job' part - taking time from the other areas and attempting to justify their neglect of their family. I would encourage any man to take a good hard look at their calendar and see if they are truly carving out the time they need to really learn and grow and lead their family well, whether that means reading or not.

Other Thoughts

When reading about Mohler's habits, the temptation for some is to feel guilty about their own habit. However, some have the opposite response to Mohler of being inspired by his example. I find myself being inspired, rather than laden with guilt, because I realize I could be much more productive with my time. I also remind myself that Mohler certainly has a gift for reading and consuming information. I cannot read 3 books a night like Mohler, but neither can I dunk a ball like Lebron (or anybody for that matter). That does not mean I shouldn't lace up the sneaks and try to improve my jump shot occasionally and likewise try to improve my reading skills.

It is also important to note that for Mohler and other teachers, reading is more than just a sharpening tool, it is almost a requirement of their work. It is really at the core of his job. He turns around and spits back out everything he reads on his blog, on the radio, in the pulpit, in book reviews, in articles, in books he writes, and to faculty and staff at the seminary all day long. He is essentially paid to read. That should remove some of the guilt for some. Though I would say that those in the market place could likely do more reading in their field (and I'm sure they would agree).

There is a difference between guilt and healthy pressure. It's ok to feel pressure to do something if one should be doing more of it. It is not ok to feel guilty for doing something that we should not be doing (or an activity that should be considered optional). The issue that all believers should feel a healthy pressure about is growth in the area of expertise that the Lord has given to us.

Of course anything can become an idol. Reading can become an idol for sure, as can the act of avoiding reading. But I believe that many people, especially men, have not really tried to learn to really love reading. But this can change. Just last year I watched a man go from abhorring reading (A college jock type - awesome basketball player) to a place where he recognizes how important it is and cannot stop reading now.

On a personal level, reading has always been my favorite hobby. Nothing calms me as much (maybe lifting weights is a close second). So anytime I have free time, I'm reading. TV stresses me out, so we don't have one. Reading calms me. However everyone is wired differently.

Great article on Reading with Kids

2010-05-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

Check out this article on one man's commitment to read nightly with his daughter and what it meant to them. Certainly inspiring, though I wonder how things might have turned out with his marriage had he maintained a similar practice with his wife.

Baby Race

2010-05-10T11:01:00.004-07:00

Friday morning at 5:30 AM Julie’s water broke. My first thought was “well, here’s the start of another loooong day,” since JI’s birth came 22 hours after his water broke. But Caroline had a different plan. I was on the phone with a friend at 8 AM, still thinking we had plenty of time, when Julie said “I think we’re having this baby today.” Thirty minutes later the contractions were coming in waves, so we shipped John Isaac off to a friend’s house, assembled some belongings and prepared for the trip to the hospital. In the midst of getting ready my brother in Kentucky calls and informs me they are at the hospital ready to deliver their baby! The race was on – who would go first? (Competition never gets old between brothers).

We were waiting for the Birthing Assistant (B.A. hereafter) to arrive before departing, but I wasn’t sure if we would be able to wait at this point – the contractions just kept coming, one after another, and Julie wasn’t getting any relief. The B.A. arrived around 9:30 and knew right away that it WAS TIME TO GO. We loaded Julie in the van and took off (though my driving was well controlled, as the B.A. commented afterwards). I didn't know it at the time, but the B.A. was discretely calling another B.A. that was following behind us in a car, telling her to call the hospital and warn them that we were coming. She told us later that she was for sure Julie would have the baby in the van!

Julie was glad to be on the way, but not happy at all about the 47 speed bumps in the hospital parking lot. When we parked at the entrance, I dashed off and retrieved a wheel chair, only to be informed by my wife that, “I can’t get out!” Well, we’re not having this baby here – not when we're this close to having her nosocomial - so we all lifted various body parts and helped her into the chair. We proceeded down the loooong hallway, up the elevator and pulled into the maternity ward at almost 10 AM. Recognizing her condition, everyone jumped to attention and started helping right away. A few minutes later she was in the delivery room and ready to go. The Lord was so gracious to have some of the kindest, gentlest nurses in the room with us – they were so sensitive to her condition. They immediately checked her and she was already fully dilated!!!! Julie wasn’t kidding – we would be having a baby THAT DAY.

After many complications from delivering John Isaac with drugs, my amazing wife was dead set on having this baby o-natural. Now, I’ve heard all the horror stories of women snapping at their husbands in this condition, so I was on my best behavior, not wanting to do anything to frustrate her. I must have said a thousand times “you’re doing a great job!” and meant it every time. She amazed me with her resilience and focus – I was truly inspired and became “choked up” many times just watching her endure the pain. All the material we read beforehand said there would come a point when she would say “I can’t do this – I can’t go on!” but she blew right past that point, only hinting at it right at the very end. She started pushing at 11:30 – and at 12:01, we had our girl!

The only down side of the entire morning was the flurry of messages that came in right before Julie started pushing: my brother’s daughter was just delivered. They beat us by 37 minutes! Oh well, you can’t win them all. I guess it wasn’t a total loss, as Caroline was heavier by 3 ounces.

We spent the night in the hospital and made it home Saturday afternoon with no problems. Please pray for a speedy recovery for my wife.

Two Books of Note

2010-05-06T08:46:00.001-07:00

Just noticed that Edmund Morris' third biography on Theodore Roosevelt, called Colonel Roosevelt, is available for pre-order on Amazon. Having read the first two volumes, I'm sure this one will be worth the time and effort to ingest. This volume will cover his life from the end of his presidency till his death in 1919 (volume one covered his birth to the start of his Presidency at McKinley's death, volume two covered his Presidency.)

Another book of note is a new biography about Dietrich Bonhoeffer , called Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas. The book was recommended to me by a friend after reading this review on the Wall Street Journal. The reviewer appreciated Metaxas' efforts to paint Bonhoeffer's faith in a fairer light than others have done (at least according to the reviewer). Interesting note on Mr. Metaxas: he has also written for Veggie Tales, has written over 30 children's books, and a best-selling bio on William Wilberforce.

The Bat Cave of Evangelicalism

2010-05-02T14:16:00.001-07:00

Forgive me while I gush. A few weeks ago, i joined a co-worker in Louisville to interview Al Mohler for a new video based marriage conference FamilyLife is producing. While there we had the chance to visit Dr. Mohler’s personal library in the basement of his home (what Ligon Duncan refers to as “the bat cave of evangelicalism”).

His personal librarian (yes, that’s what I said) gave the current volume count at 40,550 volumes, though he hedged with the disclaimer that “hundreds of books come in a month.”

His Desk (on the right side of the picture)

His Churchill “section” (pic on right) contained over four hundred books by or about the man. And the collectibles were everywhere. In one corner was a pile of leather briefcases “to give to friends.” On a desk were dozens of fountain pens. Model ships, airplanes and busts protruded from every corner and were perilously perched on every possible ledge. It was glorious and dangerous at the same time.

Mohler consumes books like a five year-old eats candy on Halloween. I asked about his reading schedule - he settles into his favorite reading chair around 11 PM or midnight [see pic of his 'current reading’ stack on left] and reads till 4 or 5 AM, then sleeps till 9 or 10 before heading to the office. How many books a night does he read? “Usually 3 or so.” Not from 3 books - but 3 from start to finish. You can read Mohler’s comments on his reading habits here.

One of his reading suggestions I’ve followed is to find an author you enjoy and read everything you can that they have written. One of those authors for me has been David McCullough, who says, “you are what you read” (his bio on Truman is my favorite of his works). McCullough is a throwback author who still uses a typewriter, partly because he knows he needs to “go more slowly” (read this interview about his typewriter here). If one of the greatest writers of our time (one journalist said “he is incapable of writing an incorrect sentence") needs to go more slowly, let all others take heed!

Mohler also asserts that “reading will save your life.” This proved true on one of my all time favorite FamilyLife Today radio interviews where Mark Hamby, founder and director of Lamplighter publishing tells his journey from not reading a single book in high school to being addicted to books. The story is both entertaining and inspiring, and each re-airing on FamilyLife Today produces a run on Lamplighter books, one of which was Ronald Reagan’s favorite book, That Printer of Udell’s. Reagan read the book as a young boy, and when he put it down, he said “I want to be like that man.” That’s what a great book does; inspires you to want to live differently. Those are hard to find, but those are the ones that are worth reading. This week I read A Confederacy of Dunces. It was entertaining, well written, with an intriguing plot-line, but not inspiring. Nothing about the story made me want to emulate anyone. None of the characters were redeemable - even at the end - when someone usually comes out changed and motivated to live differently, none had changed. Their situations had, and they had largely stumbled into new situations, but their inner character had not changed.

This is contra every book I have read about Teddy Roosevelt. Almost everything about his life inspires me to want to live differently and to want to read more about him!

Al Mohler - Study Tour from Together for the Gospel (T4G) on Vimeo.

Hatchet: Boys to Men

2010-04-26T20:57:00.003-07:00

I'm always on a hunt for good books to read with my 5 year old son. I recently ran across the Art of Manliness blog and their list of books for boys. On this list was the book Hatchet. It's your basic "lost in the wilderness" survival story - except that the main character is a 13 year old boy. With recently divorced parents, he's off to visit his father in Canada. The pilot of the small plane has a heart attack, veering the plane hundreds of miles off course in the Canadian wilderness. The boy survives the crash, with only his Hatchet to help him endure the rugged nature.

Now stay with me here, because though the story is interesting (and kept my son UBER engaged… especially since I skipped over most of the divorce parts) the more relevant part is his journey of self-discovery and what it says about the modern man.

Leanord Sax, in his book Boys Adrift (which I HIGHLY recommend to all parents of boys) tries to get at the root issue behind the increase of apathy among boys. He says "the boys I'm most concerned about don't disdain school because they have other real-world activities they care about more. They disdain school because they disdain everything. Nothing really excites them." Why is that? He cites a number of factors: changes in the education system, video games, medications, foods. He has a chapter on each of these topics, as well as one addressing the issue he calls "Failure to Launch," where boys are not launching into manhood until their late 30's.

I believe there are two main contributing factors to this increase among elongated adolescence: excessive consumerism and the fact that most boys are not being called up to anything of significant value in their minds. Consumerism: my friend David Sims, who did a PhD on the effects of affluence on children, says "consuming deadens the senses." Makes sense. If you always eat sugar, you'll never want vegetables. If you always watch dribble on the tube, you'll have little interest in fine literature and poetry. If everything is handed to you, then why work for it? (as Matthew McConoghay said, "It's gonna take a stick of dynamite to get me out of my parent's house"). The increase in boys having little drive for things of significance is striking. For instance, very few boys have interest in pursuing traditional "trades" (electrician, plumbing). College is often promoted as the only real option in schools if you want to really be somebody. Yet the trades are often the most satisfying jobs for men, because of the immediacy of seeing the results of your work. Matthew Crawford, in his book Shop Class as Soulcraft argues that a career in the trades is "better for both your net worth and your self-worth." These trade jobs are increasingly more secure, since "You can't hammer a nail over the Internet. Nor can the Indians fix your car. Because they are in India."

The appeal of cubicle life is declining as well. The combination of the two declining interests leaves many young men with little interest in pursuing anything. Combine this with a free ride at mom and dad's, and you have a legion of 30 year old boys. Men and boys alike long for the kind of work that William Voegeli describes in the Claremont journal as "the kinds of work we can most readily imagine ourselves getting lost in and being proud of." But how does one find this kind of work?

Leonard Sax, in his previous book Why Gender Matters (a must read for ALL parents) address the ability of boys to concentrate for extended periods. Most boys, especially those with ADD/ADHD are not able to concentrate for extended periods. But Sax's contention is that they are able to concentrate on the things that interest them. He tells the story of a young boy with ADD on multiple meds. His grades were suffering and he was depressed. His parents sent him to South Africa for the summer to work with a safari guide. He was there two days and the guide said "get rid of the meds, you don't need them." The next day he followed a group of natives in the woods and sat motionless for hours as he prepared to kill a bird with a spear. This is the same boy that one week earlier couldn't sit still 10 minutes in the classroom.

And here is where Hatchet returns. This 13 year old boy, having had everything handed to him and done for him up to this point in his life, for the first time becomes aware of all of life's basic necessities that he has taken for granted: food, shelter, protection from harm. He quickly gains great interest in providing for himself and works tirelessly, day after day to make sure he survives. He went through a long process of "inventing" the bow and arrow to learn to catch fish and birds. But he notices a point where he changes. He turns from the "old Brian" - a boy that passively passes through life, noticing little about what occurs around him, to a boy-man with sharpened senses. He says, there was now a "changed part of him, a grown part of him, and the two things, his mind and his body, had come together as well, [they] had made a connection with each other that he didn't quite understand." He observes, after being rescued and returning home, that he "gained immensely in his ability to observe what was happening and react to it; that would last him all his life. He had become more thoughtful as well, and from that time on he would think slowly about something before speaking." He returned home and spent hours researching all the things he consumed and experienced in the wilderness - learning their real names. His interest and focus sharpened because he was forced to survive. And this changed him.

Muscles grow under tension, and we often remove this necessary tension from the muscle of our minds in a consumer based society. I can say from experience that my seminary education meant FAR more to me and I was much more intentional with it than my college education partly because I had to pay for it! [not that I'm not grateful for college mom and dad!] My decisions about classes and dollars spent were very different when I was footing the bill. As a result, my views on the necessity of a college education are evolving - especially knowing that many parents are primarily bankrolling a 4 year party (listen to this episode of This American Life.)

So read Hatchet to your boys and enjoy it as well and ask yourself how you can reduce excessive consumption in your life and the lives of your children and reduce the clutter in your soul.

Self Suspicion

2010-04-21T14:06:00.000-07:00

“I should be primarily suspicious and regularly suspicious of myself! To be suspicious of my own heart is to acknowledge two things: that my heart has a central role in my behavior, and that my heart has a permanent tendency to oppose God and his ways.”

From When Sinners Say I Do, by Dave Harvey, p64.

On putting books on hold...

2010-03-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

My son and I have been reading through The Hobbit. We finished it this afternoon, and tonight he said, "Ok, now we're ready to read through The Lord of the Rings (TLOTR)." I reminded him that it is a REALLY long book, and that this version has no pictures. He says he knows, but wants to read it, because "now I know who Bilbo Baggins is." He then reminded me that we began reading TLOTR over 6 months ago, and that the first words in the book were "Bilbo Baggins", and, he says, "Now that I know who Bilbo is, we can read TLOTR." Sure enough, I opened to the first page, and the first sentence introduces Bilbo Baggins.

Now, I understand the importance of putting off an item of interest until one is ready to enjoy it the most, but most 5 year-olds have no context for such endeavors. A good lesson learned today by all in the family.

Chandler on the Gospel

2010-02-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

I preached Sunday on Luke 11:5-13, a passage that immediately follows Jesus' giving of the Lord's prayer. While preparing to preach I listened to Matt Chandlers sermon on the same passage and he made this statement about the gospel:

The gospel is not that if you love Jesus then you'll get everything you want. The gospel is that you'll get Jesus and he will be enough no matter what.

Well said Mr. Chandler, well said.

World War Two Books

2010-02-07T08:07:00.003-07:00

This week I finished a book called The Third Reich at War by Richard J. Evans. It's the third in a series on the Third Reich by a history professor from Cambridge. This volume addressed the years from 1939 to the end of the war in 1945. At 900 pages, it is thoroughly researched and heavily referenced, yet also easy to read. But the title is a bit misleading. Evans certainly deals with the "war" part of the war, but if the title was meant to described the content of this book, then it would likely be named, How the Germans Killed Lots of People During WWII. The level of detail Evans provides throughout the book on both how they were put to death and the amount of people killed is overwhelming at times. I know, sounds encouraging. So why would you want to read this? After turning the last page and closing the cover I thought "more people must read this book. Especially high school students." It is too easy to forget the atrocities this world has endured, especially when we live in such a comfortable time. No culture that forgets God is very far away from repeating the acts of the Nazis. In fact, the book makes a pretty strong case for Hitler being primarily driven in his desire to eliminate the Jews by his Darwinistic convictions related to the 'survival of the fittest' and the need to protect the integrity of the master race.

Evans concludes the book this way:

The Legacy of the Third Reich… extends far beyond Germany and Europe. The Third Reich raises in the most acute form the possibilities and consequences of the human hatred and destructiveness that exist, even if only in a small way, within all of us. It demonstrates with terrible clarity the ultimate potential consequences of racism, militarism and authoritarianism. It shows what can happen if some people are treated as less human than others. It poses in the most extreme possible form the moral dilemmas we all face at one time or another in our lives, of conformity or resistance, action or inaction in the particular situations with which we are confronted.

Or, to summarize, it shows what happens when sin reigns and controls a nation.

Though the book is very readable, the literary quality pales in comparison to the WWII book I completed just prior to picking up the Evans volume. For my 2009 birthday, my parents bought the six-volume set Churchill wrote on the history of WWII. I finished volume one in December and picked up Evans immediately afterwards. Churchill is a master writer, one of my favorites (in fact, one friend recently accused me of having "a man crush" on Churchill) and his ability to turn a phrase is among the best in the English language. Churchill had a team of writers accompany him on this book, and these guys were no slouches. Read what they said about Churchill's influence on their writing style in this work:

From the Foreign Office, Sir Orme Sargent and Professor Savory submitted notes on Britain, Poland and the coming of war. Sir Alexander Cadogan sent extracts from his then unpublished diary of the Churchill-Roosevelt meeting in 1941. From Cambridge, Professor Goodwin, a former flight-Lieutenant in the Royal Air Force, submitted a 150-page account of the Blitz. Kelly was given the task of reducing this to three typewritten sheets. 'They seemed quite good', Kelly recalled, 'till I sat beside him and he pulled out his red pen and slowly and patiently corrected what I had written. My sloppy, verbose sentences disappeared. Each paragraph was tightened and clarified, and their true meaning suddenly stood out. It was like watching a skillful topiarist restoring a neglected and untidy garden-figure to its true shape and proportions. In the middle of this penitential process he gently turned to me and said: 'I hope you don't mind me doing this?'

Finally, I'm in the process of re-reading The Red Horse, a novel about the Italian involvement in WWII. This is likely the best work of literature I've ever read. I'd put it up against all the great classics: War and Peace, Les Miserables, the Count of Monte Cristo. This is one of the few novels I have ever read a second time. It apparently won an award as the "European novel of the decade" (though I've not been able to find the evidence of the award recognition). The first time reading this book, after putting it down, I felt like I had lost a good friend, not wanting the story to end or the people to go away. If you have wanted to tackle a larger novel but haven't found the right one, this would be a good one to try.

On a humorous note (maybe), my son occasionally asks about the books I'm reading. Since WWII themes have lately dominated this list, much of my responses are related to War History. So occasionally the Nazis will come up and we will discuss who they were and what they did, trying to keep the conversation within the realm of what a 5 year old can handle. Last week he had a new friend over to play. They began in his room and within a few minutes he came out crying frantically and wringing his hands. Julie asks "whatever is the matter?" The child said, "Are the Nazis going to kill me? Please tell me they are not real! Please?" Apparently our son was trying to teach his new friend a little war history. Julie calmed him down and the boys went back to playing together. Now, I can only imagine how the conversation went down that night in their home…

Get Fit in 2010

2010-01-19T11:35:00.002-07:00

One of the keys to exercising is to make it easy and enjoyable. That's why I don't run - no fun and takes too much time - plus it hurts my back and knees and makes me feel like a hamster. I've mostly lifted weights and played Basketball instead, but going to the gym takes time as well.

Early in college, my Bible study leader said he does 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups in the evening before going to bed if he doesn't have time to make it to the gym. Great idea - and I've been amazed how effective this simple step can be. I usually do them in 2 or 3 sets, but if you can't start with 100, then set a timer for 5 minutes and do as many as you can of each, alternating back and forth between the two.

I've also wanted to add pull-ups to this regiment, and this Christmas my father-in-law gave me this great pull-up bar.

I've used it for a couple of weeks now and have been pleased. Partly because my exercise routine has started to shift from heavier weights at a gym to body-weight exercises. This is a style of exercise that I've been learning more about over the last few years and I wish I would have known more about when I was younger.

Having equipment readily accessible makes exercising easy - and a pull-up bar hanging in your doorway (one that requires NO INSTALLATION and can easily be moved out of the way) is as about as easy as it gets. You can do a few at night and a few in the morning and get as much effect - if done properly - as 30 minutes in a gym (when adding the sit-ups, push-ups, and dips).

The push-up feature on the bar is great as well. Usually, I can do anywhere between 50-70 standard push-ups at a pop. But using this bar - which allows you to go much deeper - I'm lucky to get 15. And I feel stronger as well after using it for just a few weeks. One of my fitness goals this year is to be able to do a planche push-up like this guy (at the end of the video) and I'm hoping this bar will help get me there!

So if you're looking to start the new year with some exercise, try ordering this pull-up bar and giving it a go. At $40, it's much cheaper than a treadmill or gym membership, so your risk is much lower. Start small so you don't get discouraged - even 5 minutes makes a difference. And if you can't do even 1 pull-up, you can still use this bar because it's so close to the ground, you can use your feet to help you get up (you can pull your knees up once you are able to do a full one).

Finally, if you are already in the habit of exercising, but wanting to do more body weight exercises at home to avoid the cost and time of a gym, try following this guys routine. And maybe, as I continue to use this fancy new bar, I'll be able to avoid any further embarrassing losses to theologians in a pull-up contest!

A Great Book to Read at Christmas

2009-12-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

Last year I picked up the book On the Incarnation by St. Athanasius. This is a short read (about 100 pgs) that I highly recommend, especially the edition with an introduction by C.S. Lewis.

In the book, Athanasius defends the need for God to come to earth as a human and builds a case against pagans who would laugh at this "absurd" notion. And who better to write on the topic than Athanasius, since he is best known for his relentless fight for the belief in the deity of Christ. In fact some say that he alone stood in the gap to protect Orthodoxy against ultimate corruption.

As a result, he faced much persecution. As Bishop, he was in and out of exile four more times, spending a total of 15 years away from his work in Alexandria. But even in exile, he was able to redeem the time, fellowshiping with monks, eventually writing a 'best-seller' about the life of Antony, one of the first monks. Many would see an exile as time wasted, but God used Athanasius' writings from this period to lead many to faith in Christ. In fact, his book on Antony played a key part in Augustine's conversion!

I can say from my experience teaching through the book of John in Rwanda that there really is nothing sweeter to the soul than to dwell on the person and work of Christ. Reading this book will help you dwell there.

Books to Read with your Son... or Daughter

2009-12-11T13:45:00.092-07:00

Since college I've dreamed of reading through The Chronicles of Narnia with my children some day. We've already been able to pick our way through most of Prince Caspian, which has been a joy. But I've been surprised by how many other books my son has been able to enjoy already. I've listed a few of my favorites below.

Pilgrims Progress - This is a new edition of the 300 year-old classic work, re-published by Crossway. I picked this up at a recent conference, though I almost went with a more kid-friendly version with more pictures and less text. This version has 30 high quality illustrations spread throughout the 200 page book. The pictures look like many paintings you'd expect to see hanging on the walls of a mega-Baptist Church. They are pleasant to look at and keep my son's attention enough to last him through 10-15 pages of text. Which is quite surprising, since the language of the book is only 'lightly edited' from the original. There are long sections of theological discussion, most of which I read word for word, and yet he keeps asking for more. I don't really have a category for this. Maybe the length of the Bending Light book (mentioned next) prepared him for this.

You can read a sample chapter as well.

Journey to the Bending Light by Todd Sorrell. This book came into FamilyLife, but the radio program rarely features fiction, so I took it home to see if my son would want to listen to it. Boy did he ever! He was hooked from the first page. I was so surprised because this was one of the first long form books without many pictures in which he was interested. The story is set in a make believe world, where a boy has to journey through seven "circles" (or lands) to arrive at the final destination - the bending light (a euphemism for heaven). It's a good read and drives home many important character truths. Some were even moving to read for me, such as seeing the consequence of sin portrayed in such vivid ways (like the chapter on the allure of 'toys' for both children and adults, and how they erode the soul). I must warn you that this book, as well as King Lear (see below) and even Pilgrims Progress for that matter, has a fair amount of violence. It seems that people die quite a bit in this book (because they do). I honestly wondered if I shouldn't have pulled back a bit, since I don't want him becoming de-sensitized to violence at such a young age. But I decided to keep reading, since most of the violence was either fantastic (i.e. mythical beasts dying) or the result of sin, rebelliousness, and foolishness. When it was the latter, I wanted to talk about it!

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas - at 1312 pages, it's a big bite of book to take on. I started reading and discussing the book with a friend of mine earlier in the year. One evening my son asked me about it, so I summarized the plot up to that point (I was at 200 pp or so). He then asked me to start reading to him. He sat and listened for 30 minutes that night. Every night thereafter for a week or two, he would ask me to read more. Eventually, around the 500 page mark, the pace of the story began to slow (though still very gripping for adults). So I would read after he went to bed, and then summarize the story for him the next day.

I recommend the book, and of all the long, classic literature novels I've read, this one is definitely the most gripping. It is a page turner and does not have the long political discourses of other works. However, If you've not read the unabridged Les Miserables by Hugo, then you should consider it as well. I've not read any other book with so many shocking plot turns. Truly a masterpiece. (Note - Hugo does go off on a few 50 pg political rants. Feel free to skim through those!) I'll write more in a later post about the importance of reading good literature.

King Lear by Shakespeare. For those parents who haven't already introduced their pre-school children to Shakespeare (because, come on, really, what good parent hasn't?!) then this would be a good intro. Actually, we just stumbled upon it at the library... oh the glorious library! But beware, it's not written for a 5 year old. It's Shakespeare's original words, but depicted in a graphic novel form, and set on the early American frontier (instead of Britain) with Lear cast as an Algonquin Indian chief. Yes, I'm serious. The illustrator is witty with the collision of styles, blending Victorian dress with Indian motiffs.

And in all actuality I do not think I would recommend reading this with most 5 year olds. We got about 1/2 way through the book and the brutality and nuance of the dialogue was just too difficult to translate. But the images are pretty stunning and kept his attention until that point. Now for those adults who have always wondered what Shakespeare was really saying, you may find this and others in the series quite entertaining!

Buy some books

2009-12-11T05:09:00.001-07:00

My dad recently snapped a photo of this sign and thought of me:

So in order to help those who "have a little money" and are thinking ahead to the books they may want to read next year, in the coming days I'll be posting about a few of my favorites reads of 2009. If it's not too late, you can add them to your Christmas wish list!

Grudem on the Poverty of Nations

2009-12-10T11:00:00.001-07:00

I recently returned from the annual meeting of the Evangelical Theological Society in New Orleans.

It's a pretty intense conference and unlike any other event I've ever attended. The meeting allows for many of the evangelical academic leaders to gather and discuss various theological issues and to build relationships. It's a fun but exhausting atmosphere, as there are roughly 500 academic papers presented in three days. Since you can't attend them all (nor would you want to), you have to choose wisely. Usually, my mind is fried by about 2 or 3 PM each day, trying to absorb all the deep content.

One of the better presentations was a paper by Wayne Grudem titled "Fifty reasons why poor nations stay poor." I had heard him share on this topic years ago in an ethics class and was excited to hear more.

Though the talk from ETS is not available, you can listen to the longer version, in 4 parts, that he gave to his Sunday School class here:

50 Factors within nations that determine their wealth and poverty.

You can also download the message outlines here, and on the class website.

Driscoll on Idolatry

2009-12-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am WAY late on posting this.

But... the message Mark Driscoll gave on "Ministry Idolatry" at the Advance '09 conference (video here) had a profound effect on my life. It is well worth the time to listen to it.

A helpful follow-up post to the conference was by Piper on Idolatry. Also worth reading and evaluating.

Pastor Dad

2009-11-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

On the flight home from Rwanda, I read one of Driscoll's new "books" (at 45 pags – it's really more of a long pamphlet) called Pastor Dad. This is a book that was written to be given away, and can be downloaded for free here. I really admire big time Christian pastor guys who give away books. It says a lot about their character. (Incidentally, Rick Warren, after his Purpose Driven Life book sold like hand sanitizer at a mom's convention, wrote a check back to the church for his salary up to that point - all 20+ years. And Dennis Rainey has given every penny of book royalties back to FamilyLife for ministry use – well over 1 million dollars).

So I read the book and it was interesting – though a bit heavy handed at points (which is to be expected at times with Driscoll). There were some parts that will resonate with many (Italics are my comments):

"The safest place for children is with a man who fears the Lord."

"Before any father disciplines his children, he is commanded to delight in them." This is so true, and would solve many discipline problems men face with their children.

"One night while tucking my daughter into bed, I asked her, 'What should a good daddy do?' She said, 'A daddy should make a lot of money, read his Bible, teach his kids, love his kids, be silly and have lots of fun.'" – Well said!

"A wise dad may realize that a personal quiet time for himself is unwise; rather than hiding away in a quiet place to read the Bible, it is often best to do so in the noisy living room where the kids can see and climb on their dad while he reads his Bible." - This reminds me of a man who had it as his goal that his kids would always find him studying his Bible at the kitchen table when they woke up. One of his Children recalled that they could only remember a handful of times when he wasn't doing that very thing.

He also tells a great story (Ch7) of how he disciplined his out of control son and restored their relationship in the process. He concludes the story with the biblical truth that it is the father's role to "lovingly lead their children toward heartfelt repentance of sin." These two pages (35-36) are worth reading for every father.

A few good pointers along the way and lots of encouragement to be a man. Might be a good resource to pass along and discuss with other men in your church. But please review it yourself before doing so.

Another Bit of Wisdom

2009-11-12T14:25:00.003-07:00

Appearances are deceiving. Things are not always as they seem. I've had too many conversations with men that seem to be walking the walk, just to watch their marriages disintegrate later as they pursued suppressed passions, those not put to death at an earlier time (Rom8.13). Of course, I've seen many women do the same. The sad part is, this tendency rests in the heart of us all, the tendency to be man pleasers instead of God pleasers. The tendency to look the part, yet be dreaming of another world on the inside.

Once again, a bit of ancient Jewish wisdom from Rabbi Nathan to pull us back to center:

There are four types [of disciples] among those that frequent the study house: One takes his place close to (the sage) and is rewarded; one takes his place close to (the sage) and is not rewarded. One takes his place at a distance (from the sage) and is rewarded; one takes his place at a distance and is not rewarded.

One engages in discussion and is rewarded; one engages in discussion and is not rewarded. One sits and keeps quiet and is rewarded; one sits and keeps quiet and is not rewarded.

If one takes his place close to (the sage) so that men might say, “There’s so-and-so drawing close to and sitting down before a sage,” he is not rewarded.

If one takes his place at a distance so that he might honor someone greater than he, he is rewarded.

If one takes his place at a distance so that men might say, “So-and-so has no need of a sage,” he is not rewarded.

If one engages in discussion in order to understand and learn, he is rewarded.

If one engages in discussion so that men might say, “So-and-so engages in discussion in the presence of sages,” he is not rewarded.

I one sits and keeps quiet in order to listen and learn, he is rewarded.

If one sits and keeps quiet so that men might say, “There’s so-and-so sitting quietly in the presence of sages,” he is not rewarded.

So one appears to be learning, but is merely self promoting. One appears to be serving, but is self-serving. Motives can be difficult to discern - even our own.

I remember years ago i was invited to a man's house to meet a church-planting missionary. I was excited to go, but I ruined the party. It didn't occur to me until months later that I had just wanted everyone to see how much I knew. As I talked with this man about church and theology, it was all about me. It had nothing to do with anyone else there. What fun, to watch a guy trying to puke up every bit of information he has stored on a topic. How sad.

Yet great men, like Billy Graham, are life-long learners. A man who studied him, even wrote his PHD dissertation about his evangelism techniques, had an opportunity to meet Billy Graham. Once BG found out about the PHD, he began to ask this man to help him improve his evangelism. The man was dumb-struck, "but I learned everything I know from you!" Yet BG would not let up, he wanted to improve.

So how can one know that they are motivated out of pure intentions? Walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh (Gal 5.16).

Actions of a Wise Man

2009-11-09T08:48:00.001-07:00

Rwanda has a heavy respect based culture. Sure, this can be abused and lead to a superiority complex in some, but the concept is good. It plays out in many aspects of life, like the way people shake hands (looking down and slightly bowing) or hold a conversation (always waiting for others to finish - not rushing to interrupt someone).

This morning I read from an ancient Jewish text called The Fathers According to Rabbi Nathan. In it is a description of a wise man:

Seven qualities characterize the wise man:

He does not speak before him that is greater than he in wisdom or in age.
He does not break into his fellow's speech.
He is not in a rush to reply.
He asks what is relevant and replies to the point.
He speaks of first things first and of last things last.
Of what he has not heard he says: "I have not heard," and is not ashamed (to admit it).
And he acknowledges what is true.

A few comments:

Over the last year I've tried to be intentional to follow #5. Many are guilty of answering questions that no one is asking - or of merely rambling on about something to display your knowledge, rather than actually answering the question. This has been a challenge for me and I'm praying for growth.

Also, related to #6, the Lord provided some amazing examples for me in the form of a professor and two fellow students in Phoenix. All three of these men are incredibly bright and have a wealth of knowledge, yet they were never ashamed to admit ignorance of a matter. They were hungry to learn and for that I am grateful. A weak, insecure man (i.e. myself for many years) is afraid to admit ignorance, because he is more concerned about appearing wise than actually being wise.

May we seek knowledge and hunger for wisdom, so that we may hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matt 5.6)!

Some Reflections on Rwanda

2009-11-06T06:32:00.005-07:00

Just returned from the most AMAZING trip to Rwanda. The country has made unbelievable strides from the 1994 genocide - it's really quite remarkable. My personal observation is that they have been able to move forward because of their willingness to embrace the past and learn from it. The government continues to encourage the people to talk about their genocide experiences - to remember what happened and share it with the world. Not in a bitter way, but in a way that brings healing. They have a number of genocide memorials and burial grounds throughout the country. It's hard to believe that this country is so small (about the size of Maryland, yet with 9 Million people - most densely populated African country) because the hearts and the vision of the people are so big.

I returned home to a birthday gift from my parents - Churchill's six volumes on WWII. In Volume 1, The Gathering Storm, he states, "it would be wrong not to lay the lessons of the past before the future." He called WWII "the unnecessary war," for he believes there was never a war more easily avoidable. So the Rwandan people are moving forward by remembering the past and using it to heal. They are preserving a horrific memory and allowing it to drive them towards a new future together. And you can feel a buzz about the future all over the country. "Vision 2020" is a program promoted by the government, and everyone is talking about it. I was in a home in a small village in a very rural part of the country, and they even had a poster about it on their wall (very close to a 2-Pac poster).

And the priorities of the government seem right - symbolized by the still bullet ridden parliament building. A dictatorial regime is more interested in appearances than reality. They want to appear strong - so they build big palaces and neglect the people. In Rwanda, they left the Parliament building full of cannon holes (even 15 years later), and are instead filling the holes in the roads and electricity grid. This is the power of remembering.

This stands in stark contrast to Theodore Roosevelt. I finished a gripping biography about him while in Rwanda called The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt. It's a book I think every man should read and, if possible, read it with your son. But his response to the tragic loss of his wife was to end the chapter of his life and never return. At 24 years old, he was serving in the NY state legislature. His wife died giving birth to his first son with a month left in his term. Weighed down with sorrow, he finished his term and set forth on a 5 week western expedition in solitude. But before leaving, he penned a tribute letter to his wife, then went west and grieved. When he returned from the trip, he never spoke publicly about his first wife again.

I shared this story with a man I met in the airport in Nairobi. He was returning from a 5 week tour of Eastern Africa - a trip he had dreamed about for years. His first wife left him years ago and he was still healing. He went alone to find recovery and restoration. After telling him the story, I thought he was going to cry. He shared that he went to Africa on a mission - to Climb Killimanjaro. Part of the mission was to reach the top and burry a letter he wrote to close the very painful chapter of his life involving his divorce and the death of his father. He spoke of his excitement to return home to his girlfriend, who is now expecting (coincidentally, we share the same due date of May 10th). We flew to Amsterdam and re-united there to chat more. While walking around the airport for over an hour (to stay awake) he shared that he was buying an engagement ring in the airport - BIG STEP!

I started reading the book, Adopted into God's Family on the plane ride home. It's a theological evaluation of the doctrine of adoption. The most beautiful part of this book is the reminder that God is the perfect father. Though we all have failures in our family: divorce, death, bad parenting experiences, difficult children, we can depend on God to be the perfect Father, and we can learn from Jesus how to be the perfect Son. While in Rwanda I taught pastors about the Gospel of John. I couldn't get over how often Jesus talks about his Father in the book. Every time he taught the disciples or a crowd, he goes on and on about his Father (try circling the word "Father" in your Bible in the book of John and see where it show up the most). In chapters 14 and 15, he's teaching the disciples before he heads to the cross, and all he can talk about is his Father. Their love for one another is perfect and pure, and even in our messed up, war riddled world we can depend on their example.

One of the more striking things to experience in Africa is seeing men holding hands. It is a common practice for men, who are just friends, to hold hands. In America, that means one thing: homosexuals. But how beautiful to see pure love displayed by the simple act of holding hands. Close friends showing camaraderie and intimacy publicly. This struck me as a good thing - and was especially meaningful when my son, while walking through the airport, instinctively reached up and grabbed my hand. It was good to be home.

Rwanda

2009-10-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm in Rwanda doing some teaching this week. Pray for me!
It's 4:37 AM and a rooster is crowing outside my window. That would be ok if I had slept at all in the last 40 hours (I did get 3 hrs on the plane... that was 24 hrs ago).
Lots of excitement already, including a wild taxi ride, a sawed off shotgun, and drunk man complementing my blue eyes (no, we're not back in Phoenix).

Beautiful country, even in the dark - and very helpful people.
PRAY!

Binders and the Decleration of Independence

2009-10-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

This is my son and his binders. He's been filling them up with all sorts of important papers. The two light colored binders are dedicated to his parents. He said he keeps important things about us in them so he can remember us if we accidentally die. Important things like old church history notes and pictures of crocodiles - things that will make him think of us.

The red binder holds his copy of the Declaration of Independence. He was absolutely giddy to have his own copy printed out today. He said "The Stephens (friends with 12 kids) won't believe this!" I don't remember much about my 5th year of life, but I know that there really wasn't anything more exciting than carrying personal copies of constitutional documents.

Are you Safe and Secure?

2009-10-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't watch this video

I'm so glad I did.

The best line: "I learned that being available and being willing is enough."

The Butterfly Circus

2009-09-28T09:53:00.003-07:00

Stars Eduardo Verastegui from Belah (read his story here) and Nick Vujicic.

Book Review: This Momentary Marriage by John Piper

2009-09-16T11:12:00.007-07:00

Working with a marriage ministry, and knowing that there are dozens (if not hundreds) of new marriage books published each year, I was giddy to get my hands on the new marriage book by John Piper. If you've read any of Piper, you'll come to find much of what you love about his writing in this book. Instead of tips and tactics, it is a careful theological treatment of the purpose of marriage.

The verse he uses as the title for the book reminds the reader that marriage is a temporary condition – since the scriptures make it clear that there will be no marriage in heaven (Matt 22.30). This sets up his central premise in the book, one that is repeated over and over again, because of Noel's (his wife) encouragement. When asked for advice on the book, she said "You cannot say too often that marriage is a model of Christ and the church." Piper goes on to say that not only is marriage a model of Christ and the church, but that the deepest meaning of marriage is to display Christ's covenant keeping love to the world. He says, "Staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It's about covenant-keeping."

I had a strong reminder of this covenant-keeping love in my kitchen this week. My parents were in town visiting for a few days. My mom was up first one morning, reading her Bible at the kitchen table. When she heard my father stirring, making his way to the kitchen, she stood and eagerly awaited his arrival. He entered the kitchen and they embraced. As I watched my parents hold each other close, I flashed back to those moments as a five-year-old when I found great comfort and security in their affections. They could not wait to see each other again after a night of sleep. Even though I am an adult, I am still moved with feelings of comfort with each of their covenant-enduring embraces.

For Piper, seeing marriage primarily as reflecting Christ's covenant-keeping love also shapes his view on divorce. He believes that divorce should be extremely rare, and that re-marriage is prohibited while your spouse is living. He defends the view well (and also clarifies that he is in the minority among evangelicals with this view) in chapters 14 and 15. He says, "If the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband." Though in the Old covenant, God sent Israel away with a decree of divorce (Jer 3.8), in the new covenant, Christ says "I am with you always" (Matt 28.20) and "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb 13.5).

This view of marriage also informs our parenting – for if marriage reflects Christ's love for the church, then what does that say about the Father? Ephesians 6.4 reminds fathers to bring up their children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." It also says "do not provoke them to anger." Why this specific instruction to fathers? Piper says, "Dad embodies authority. Apart from Christ, the child embodies self-will. And when the two meet, anger flares." He offers this encouragement. "Even more important than avoiding the obvious aggravators, we fathers should think about what kinds of preemptive things we can do that don't just avoid anger but diminish or remove anger. That's the real challenge." He continues, "Don't just stop doing things that provoke anger; start doing things that prevent and overcome anger."

So many men struggle with anger because of their fathers, but all men have a chance to "sever the root of the whole cycle of anger by savoring to the depths of your soul the preciousness of God's forgiveness and God's promises… Show them in your own soul how it can be replaced with tenderhearted joy" (p150-154). Why is forgiveness so powerful for breaking down anger? Anger says, "You owe me something before we can be right." Forgiveness says, "I am taking the initiative to restore our relationship and remove any debt between us." The father is the adult and it is his role to seek forgiveness – to model Christ like love in all of his relationships. And as you seek to overcome anger, you model the Father's love by being the one that seeks and grants forgiveness quickly, willingly, and often.

My one disappointment with this book was that Piper did not share more stories from his experiences with his wife. I know from a few friends that have spent time around John Piper that his marriage has endured many difficulties and challenges – enduring a very dry season. I would have loved to have heard specifics about how they fought through such a season. But I think this book is his answer: the way he fought through the dullness was to come to understand the theological basis for marriage. And as he gained a greater appreciation for the nature of Christ's love, his love for his wife was renewed and strengthened.

There is so much more in this book that could be unpacked here, such as his handling of roles and singleness, both of which are extremely helpful. For now it is safe to say that the book is worth reading for every married couple. And the timing of this reading was especially encouraging for me, as my wife and I celebrate TEN YEARS of marriage this week!

The Master of the Metaphor

2009-09-11T12:52:00.002-07:00

I've been listening to Tim Keller preach through the book of John (to prepare for my trip to Rwanda – to teach through the book) and I've been continually amazed by his masterful use of metaphor (or real-life examples that illustrate his point) in preaching. Below is one example used during his sermon on worship (this quote is not word for word, but based on my best recollection):

"My 7 year old son has a cabbage patch doll [this message was given in 1991] that brings him great comfort. If you were to offer him a Brownstone home here in New York City in exchange for that doll, the best you would get from him is a slight hesitation. But at the end of the day, he would not give up that doll. 'How foolish!' you cry. 'Absurd!' you proclaim. Yet we are no different. We hold on to the little things that bring us comfort, yet are of infinitesimal value in comparison to the value of a life given over to Christ. You rightly ascertain that this child has no sense of perspective. He's not able to comprehend how much more that home will serve him for the rest of his life. All he knows is what seems to bring him comfort now. And we are no different."

Book Review: Perspectives on Family Ministry

2009-09-09T10:44:00.005-07:00

Southern Seminary, in Louisville, Kentucky, has been working to develop their Family Ministry program. As a result, they've commissioned the writing of a book, edited by Timothy Paul Jones, called Perspectives on Family Ministry. This is an area of great interest for me and I was grateful to be able to review a pre-release copy of the book (due out in October). In the book, they attempt to give an acceptable definition to "Family Ministry" (no easy task) and present what they believe to be the three most common models for family ministry in the church. The three models are as follows:

Family Integrated: "In this approach, all age-graded classes and events are eliminated… Generations learn and worship together, and parents bear primary responsibility for the evangelism and discipleship of their children" (p42). Those who promote this model (Voddie Baucham, Doug Phillips, Scott Brown, and Paul Renfro) believe that the church has become far too fragmented, undermining the Biblical mandate for families to worship God together.

Family Based: "No radical changes occur in the church's internal structure… [rather] each ministry sponsors events and learning experiences that are intentionally designed to draw generations together"(p43). This model most closely reflects the modern church approach of a collection of compartmentalized ministries to children, youth, singles, adults, and the elderly. But the Family-Based approach attempts to make some effort within each ministry (though still separate attempts) to draw the generations together.

Family-Equipping: This term was coined by the editor of this book and it is the approach Southern Seminary is promoting in their new Family Ministry degree programs. In this model, "Church leaders plan every ministry to champion the place of parents as primary disciple-makers in their children's lives, asking 'What is best for families?' at every level of the church's ministry…. [this model] reworks the church's entire structure to call parents to disciple their children at every level of the church's work." (Some promoting this model are Jay Strother, Brian Haynes, Steve Wright, Ben Freudenberg). This model may or may not require that some programs/ministries be dropped or significantly altered within the church. It all depends on what the church decides when they ask 'What is best for families?'

As mentioned above, the book is definitely trying to make the case for the Family-Equipping model as the approach churches should embrace. But I found the writing and logic presented in the chapter defending the Family-Integrated (FI) model most compelling. Here's just a few of the strong arguments put forward by Paul Renfro (author of the chapter defending the family-integration model) that were not adequately refuted by the other authors in this volume.

"Age-integration creates a network of meaningful multigenerational relationships." The author argues that "never in Scripture do we find an example of systematic age segregation in temple, synagogue, or church. In fact, we find the opposite…" (p.68). The results demand careful evaluation: "The fact is that the age-segregated structure has consistently failed to reach and to retain youth and children… The largest rise in full-time youth ministers in history has been accompanied by the biggest decline in youth evangelism effectiveness" (p91).
The FI model most closely resembles the biblical precedent of the home being the primary place where evangelism and discipleship of children is meant to occur.
The FI model helps to re-establish the church and the home as the primary influences in a teenager's life. In a culture where "Schools, media and peers are the 'disciplers' of American's children," this model re-elevates the importance of the influence of adults – both for the children and the adults. The fact that it calls the adults up to this role may be more important than what it does for the kids. He also states "In some cases a young person is so tightly connected to a youth group that he or she is more committed to that youth group than their own family" (p74).
The FI model frees up more time for families to spend together and to focus on doing ministry together. Since families are not overly busy with church-based programs in the FI model, they are free to reach out to the community in creative ways as a family.
Singles are intentionally brought into families where healthy family relationships can be modeled. The author argues, "Why would we want to isolate singles in a singles group? Such a practice assumes that the primary place where singles and single moms feel comfortable is with people like themselves. Yet singles need interaction with older saints who have traveled further down the road to maturity." I can speak from experience that though I loved spending time with other youth in our church youth group, the main reason I went was to spend time around the youth minister and his wife. And of all my youth group memories, the ones I cherish the most are those of the youth minister allowing me to come into his home and just experience life around his family.
The FI model is most easily transferred across cultures, since it models the structure of the family, something that exists in all cultures.

No question that the FI model is also most likely to be immediately rejected by most churches, since the change appears to be the most radical departure from the way the majority of churches do ministry. The hardest part of moving from a Family-based model to the FI model is retraining the parents. Parents have become so conditioned to the drop-off the-kids-and-let-the-church-train-them mentality, that it will take many, many months of meetings to help them capture and embrace a new vision for the primacy of the home in child training. Of course, even a move towards the Family Based model would be incredibly beneficial to any church. Either model, the FI or the FB, strives to get at the root issues underlying the lack of spiritual depth in today's churches. At the root is the problem of the incongruence between church and home.

The following quote by Richard Baxter sums up the importance of embracing one of these models in today's church (found on p65):

"Get master of families to do their duty, and they will not only spare you a great deal of labor, but will much further the success of your labors… You are not likely to see any general reformation, till you procure family reformation. Some little religion there may be, here and there; but while it is confined to single persons, and is not promoted in families, it will not prosper, nor promise much future increase."

– Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor, p93.

If you are a pastor or have some ability to influence your church's philosophy of training youth and children, then I highly recommend you read this book and wrestle with the concepts it presents.

A Boy-Man

2009-09-06T16:51:00.005-07:00

He looks like such a little man in his tie. It's his first day in a tie - and he asked to wear it. It's a manly thing to wear a tie - because someone has to teach you how to tie it. Boys don't spontaneously start putting ties around their necks. Someone has to teach them.

Now that he's five, I've started talking to him more about what it means to be a man. Wearing a tie doesn't necessarily make you a man, but you don't usually see knuckleheads running around in ties. Maybe in the 50's, but not so much these days. So we're talking more about the differences between being a boy and a man. Things like ALWAYS being respectful towards your mother. ALWAYS treating ALL women with respect and kindness. Being grateful for all things - in all situations. These are the main things we're working on these days... Because boys naturally want to stay boys. A boy doesn't become a man on his own. It takes a man to pull them up towards being a man. A boy will watch and read dribble his whole life, unless a man helps him develop an appetite for manly things - like great literature, poetry, hard work, and Jesus. Things that do not come naturally for a boy - and things for which a father must be willing to fight.

Crossbearer

2009-08-31T07:24:00.007-07:00

One benefit of lying awake a few hours at night (something that has happening with increasing frequency) is the extra reading time. This weekend I picked up a book that has been staring at me for sometime - the faith/conversion story of Joe Eszterhas. Joe is a screenwriter whose movies have made over a billion dollars (that's right - BILLION with a B.) But these weren't feel good movies like The Princes Bride, or something spiritual like The Passion of Christ. His were pretty much the extreme opposite - ones like Basic Instinct and Showgirls (and if you've not heard of either, you can probably guess their content based on the titles).

His book Crossbearer is a memoir of this journey from self-reliance to Christ-reliance. His story doesn't go into great detail about his days in Hollywood, but he shares enough to let you know that most nights followed the same routine: different girl, lots of coke (and not the classic kind), a fifth of gin, and lots of cigarettes. Since this routine isn't part of The Maker's Diet, you can imagine that his health was not the best when he hit 50. The story begins when he is diagnosed with throat cancer, comes to the end of himself, and cries out for God's help.

This is not your normal "I'm a Christian now and everything is perfect" story that one might expect. He shares his struggles and failures as he continues to learn what it means to live as a Christian. Some of his struggles are humorious - like the time that he hauled a guy out of church - yelling at him to never bother him again, or how he wears Rolling Stones T-shirts while carrying the Cross up the aisle (primarily, it appears, to irritate the more prudish/legalistic members of the congregation). Other parts are sad, like the fact that he is still estranged from his oldest daughter, having recently let three years pass without sharing a word together because of a disagreement over her boy friend.

What was refreshing about this book was his perspective on the importance of being in a community of believers - and his willingness to accept the good with the bad. He attends a catholic church, and started attending in the midst of the pedophile-priests scandals. He rightly emphasizes the horrific nature of this tragedy, yet he's not willing to cast aside the church because of it. Each time he starts to send anyone connected with the church down the road (a practice he perfected as a hard-driving screen writer), he has a conversation or an experience where someone is quick to remind him of his flaws and inconsistencies. His humility in this regard is refreshing... is the church full of hypocrites? Of course, but we are all hypocrites on some level.

He also tells of his flirtation with an evangelical mega-church and their all-star, leading man power-pastor. The experience left them wanting: "Yes, the sermon had been great... but as moving as the sermon had been, that's how empty the service itself had felt." Even though they had been struggling through the 5-minute homilies at the Catholic church, they were ready to run back. They missed the community they had developed, and more importantly, they really missed taking communion. He says,

“We had talked so much about the lack of powerful, moving homilies in the Catholic church, and here we had experienced as powerful and moving a sermon as it was possible to experience… and we suddenly didn’t care about it. We cared about trying to find a Mass [to take communion]. The powerful sermon ultimately didn’t matter. We needed Communion, the body and blood of Christ, like two starved vampires needing to feed on Christ’s grace."

He is no perfect man, nor is he a theologian, so don't expect that you will agree with all of his views. This book is not perfect either - having a fair amount of profanity gracing its pages - and no chapter breaks (but still reads well). Overall it is a refreshing, engaging read that left me encouraged because of the power of Christ to take a man, who was dying in spirit and body, and make a new creation. When one considers how far Mr. Eszterhas has come, it is a humbling and inspiring story.

I Do Again

2009-08-18T13:18:00.003-07:00

Just listened to a powerful story of a couple that remarried after being divorced for seven years. I was pretty emotional at the end when she described the moment that they told their twin daughters they were going to get remarried. What a story!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

You can order their book here.

Faithful Son

2009-08-04T22:44:00.004-07:00

My son brought me this trading card today:

He said he found it on the street.
Clearly the providence of the Lord!

Getting to Know Calvin

2009-07-31T08:05:00.000-07:00

Friday July 10th was John Calvin's 500th Birthday. Quite a milestone for the man. Many blog posts have circulated in his honor. I have benefited greatly from his works and wanted to pass along a few ideas on how to get the most from all his years of labor in the scriptures.

Reading Calvin's Institutes - While in college, I joined two friends in a study of the book Disciplines of a Godly Man. The best part of reading this book was what I found in the back. The author (R. Kent Hughes) interviewed a number of well known Christian leaders (like R.C. Sproul, Chuck Swindoll, and Eugene Petterson) and asked them, "What books, apart from the Bible, have been influential in your life?" I've often tried to discover what books shaped famous people and read those (for instance, Reagen pointed to Witness and Churchill cited The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire as most influential). The most often mentioned book by these authors was C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, but a close second was John Calvin's Institutes of Christian Religion. Since being involved in that group, I've wanted to read the Institutes and have finally made it around to it this past year. I only read a few pages a day - but they are powerful pages. And it is surprisingly readable: it seems Calvin's intent was to write for the layman. He answers the charges of the day in a way the common citizen can easily understand. I highly recommend taking the next year or two to read through this work. You can either buy this fancy two-volume work, or this more affordable combined version.

Calvin's Commentaries
One of the more useful things I learned in seminary was the value of Calvin's commentaries. Wayne Grudem told me, in the midst of working heavily on the ESV Study Bible, that he often begins with John Calvin's commentaries (before a modern commentary) when seeking further clarification on a passage of scripture. You can purchase the entire set in hardback here, or you can access them on online for free at ccel.org.

The Master of Geneva
Calvin has often been misunderstood, both in his theology and in his governing of Geneva. There are many biographies available on Calvin, but last year I read a novel on his life called The Master of Geneva. If you have wanted to read more on Calvin's life, this would be a great book to pick up. However, good luck finding it, since it is out of print. I borrowed it from the church library, and I imagine most seminary libraries would have it. You can find them used online here and read a review of the book here

You can also download a well acclaimed biography on Calvin from Desring God Ministries for free here.

Alexis de Tocqueville's Birthday

2009-07-29T08:15:00.004-07:00

I receive a daily email from American Minute. It is worth signing up to receive these daily nuggets of american history, which serve as a great reminder of the amazing heritage we have in this nation.

Today the post is on Alexis de Tocqueville, born this day in 1805. De Tocqueville was a French social scientist who traveled to America to observe the country and try to discover what makes it unique and prosperous. His classic work Democracy in America is the summary of his observations. In it he says the following:

"Religion in America... must be regarded as the foremost of the political institutions of that country; for if it does not impart a taste for freedom, it facilitates the use of it... This opinion is not peculiar to a class of citizens or a party, but it belongs to the whole nation."

De Tocqueville added:

"There is no country in the whole world where the Christian religion retains a greater influence than in America... and nothing better demonstrates how useful it is to man, since the country where it now has the widest sway is both the most enlightened and the freest."

Read the entire post here.

Hunting Eichmann and a few other books

2009-07-22T17:22:00.006-07:00

I was back in Louisville for a week this summer and able to take a trip to the bookstore with mom (a height of the trip for both of us I think). We came home with three books, one of which I could not put down: Hunting Eichmann (which we learned about from Al Mohler's summer reading list). The book tells the story of the search for Adolph Eichmann, one of the lead implementers of the Nazi's "Final Solution," who escaped capture and trial at Nuremberg. He amazingly was able to hide in Germany for five years before fleeing to Argentina. Much like the book Manhunt (on the hunt for John Wilkes Booth), if it were not for a few blunders, one wonders if Eichmann would ever have been found. It's a fascinating read and a page turner, and written with a unique balance of suspense. The rhythm of the book was such that each time it seemed the group capturing Eichmann was in the clear; another challenge loomed large and renewed the suspense.

But the negative part of reading a book of this type is that I inevitably begin rooting for the guy on the run – no matter how heinous of a criminal he may have been. It happened in Manhunt, and it happened here. It must be because of the nature of wanting to root for the underdog, or for the person that seems helpless. But what makes this author unique is that he will not let the reader stay sympathetic towards Eichmann. He has a keen sense for rhythm in this book, as he seems to be able to predict the points at which his reader is starting to pull for Eichmann. At this point, he reminds the reader of the horrible acts of genocide Eichmann approved, encouraged, and performed. This was no man to be pitied. He destroyed humanity and displayed no remorse – even 15 years later, as a feeble old man.

This writing style reminds of the singular command given in the first three chapters (the theological part) of the book of Ephesians. Ephesians 2.11 charges us simply to "remember." One word – one command – REMEMBER. Paul's charge is to remember everything that is true of a Christian in light of what is true of those who are "in Christ" (as outlined in Ephesians 1.4-11). In Hunting for Eichmann, remembering the horror of the holocaust drives the story and it drives those who pursued Eichmann. It is so easy to forget.

The other part of the story that inspires is the tireless work of the Mossad agents (Israeli equivalent of the CIA). They could not just waltz into Buenos Aires and ask for Eichmann, as the Argentinian government was sympathetic toward the Nazi's. The operation required a massive amount of planning and loads of money to pull of the grab.

The other two books we brought home were We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families and American Prometheus. The first was chosen because I am traveling to Rwanda in the fall to teach a class on the book of John to Anglican pastors. It is a collection of stories from those who faced the genocide in Rwanda. The second, American Prometheus came as a recommendation from a friend who also recommended The Making of the Atomic Bomb. I read the Atomic Bomb book a few years ago and was amazed by the incredible amount of effort it took our nation to develop the A-bomb. We essentially built the equivalent of the entire U.S. auto industry in three years to make two bombs. This effort required the use of the entire U.S. stockpile of silver (since copper was being used in bullets) for winding the gigantic magnets that split the atomic particles for the bombs. All this was done at the height of a World War that was already pulling resources from every corner of the country. Though other countries might have been able to discover the science of the bomb, no other would had the resources necessary to develop it during the war. The mastermind behind this effort was a man named Oppenheimer. This man was brilliant, hard charging, and able to keep an eclectic group of scientists focused on the task of the Bomb. American Prometheus tells more of his story.

Finally, one book that was left behind was The Third Reich at War (learned about here). However I'm happy to report that upon returning home, mother immediately ordered the book and already has it in her possession. I imagine that it will not take her long to read it since WWII history is her favorite genre.

Time on Marriage

2009-07-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

Time Magazine recently published this article on marriage. In it they make two important statements:

"There is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in this country as the collapse of marriage."

And…

"On every single significant outcome related to short-term well-being and long-term success, children form intact, two-parent families outperform those from single-parent households. Longevity, drug abuse, school performance and dropout rates, teen pregnancy, criminal behavior and incarceration – if you can measure it, a sociologist has; and in all cases, the kids living with both parents drastically outperform the others."

One feminist responds:

"As a feminist, I didn't want to believe it," says Maria Kefalas, a sociologist who studies marriage and family issues… "Women always tell me, 'I can be a mother and a father to a child,' but it's not true." Growing up without a father has a deep psychological effect on a child. "The mom may not need the man," Kefalas says, "but her children still do."

Read the full article here.

Dirty Fun

2009-07-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

My son in a state of sheer delight

The Reject Pile

2009-07-11T19:00:00.005-07:00

Went to Borders with my Mom today to select a couple of books for our semi-annual reading tradition. Here is the pile that we didn't bring home. It was hard to say no.

Whatever you do... don't make him angry

2009-06-12T12:12:00.004-07:00

Some of you will recognize that line from the 80's version of the Incredible Hulk. I remember that glorious Friday night line up - the best in TV history: The Incredible Hulk followed by the Dukes of Hazard. Then when Dukes went off the air, it was Knight Rider. Pop a big bowl of popcorn and sit back for two hours of green muscle and chest hair.

I just listened to some of the best Father's day programs in a while - Family Life interviewed R.V. Brown, who was one of 17 kids. He grew up with a father who couldn't read or write, but he was the real deal and taught him what it meant to be a man. I had about 5 chill moments in the first 10 minutes - and then his tribute at the end of the second day was almost too much! Take time to listen to part 1 and part 2- you won't be disapointed.

Just don't make him angry - he's got bis bigger than my thighs.

Indicatives vs. Imperatives

2009-06-03T13:32:00.002-07:00

Click here to watch a powerful video by Voddie Baucham (5 minutes long).
He recently shared with our staff the difference between the indicatives (who you are) vs. the imperatives (what you do) in your relationship with Christ.

WINNER!

2009-05-25T06:52:00.003-07:00

Stephanie R. won the book!
I'm pretty sure I know who Stephanie R. is, but just in case, you may want to contact me.
Thanks for all the comments.

Win a Free Book

2009-05-13T12:19:00.004-07:00

Leave a comment for a chance to win Bruce Ware's book Big Truth for Young Hearts. (See this previous post for more info). Comments will be taken through May 24th. Make sure I know how to contact you, or make sure to check the blog on Monday, May 25th to find out if you won.

Dr. Gleason on Catechism Training

2009-05-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I spent about 45 minutes on the phone yesterday with Dr. Ron Gleason, interviewing him about the training of children in the church. Dr Gleason is pastor of Grace Presbyterian Church in Yorba Linda, California. He has quite a diverse bio, having served as a tank commander in the Army before spending 10 years in the Netherlands, studying Herman Bavinck, and serving as a pastor.

I first heard of Dr. Gleason while listening to a message he gave on Herman Bavinck (who I only recently learned of through another man's top 15 reading list of 2008 – he rated Bavinck's 4 volume theology as his #2 book of the year). While listening to the message, I was intrigued by a statement he made about catechism training in the Reformed Church of the Netherlands. Gleason said "The children in the church were trained in the catechism over five years: 3 years in the Heidelberg Catechism, 1 year in the Belgic Confession, and 1 year on the Canons of Dort, and it was primarily the responsibility of
the fathers to catechize their children." Since catechism training is so rarely utilized in today's church, I asked if he would let me interview him on the practice. Below are his responses:

___________________________________________________________

Can you tell me a little about why your church does Catechism training?

If you look at the modern church, there is a tremendous emphasis on programs. But what kind of legacy has the mega-church left us? Are people better off today because of what they learned in church, or do they have a deficient understanding of the stories of the Bible and of theology? The Dutch church was always looking for ways to bring unity between church, school, and home. Studying Catechisms helped provide that and we've followed their approach at Grace Presbyterian. This is a tool we can put in the hands of fathers and equip them to embrace their greatest responsibility of training their children to follow Jesus.

What kind of process do you follow at your Church to teach the Catechism?

The Dutch Church started teaching their children at 12 years old. Then, when they were 18 they were ready to be accepted into the church and join in communion. Our church is pushing back the starting age to 9, because of the desire we've seen in many of the children to join in communion at an earlier age. The Jewish practice seemed to be to accept a child into the community at 13, so I guess we're modeling that a bit.

How do you incorporate the parents in the Catechism training?

When we kicked off this program, I began by teaching the parents the catechism during Sunday School. I would use this time to walk them through the question for the week and give them tips for teaching the material to their kids. The parents are then expected to teach the Catechism daily and help their kids memorize all the questions. We still follow this model and find that it is very effective in allowing us to connect church and home. Initially, we also had the Elders meet with each family in their home to explain what we were doing and why. It was a big paradigm breaker for a lot of families and took some time to embrace, much like if you were to come to someone's home and say "we think you should consider home-schooling." The emotional reaction is very similar.

What material do you use to teach the Catechism?

I wrote three workbooks that we use as a basis for instruction. The material is based on a combination of the Heidelberg and Westminster shorter catechisms. I combined the two to get more emphasis on the Apostles Creed, Ten Commandments, and the Lord's Prayer. These workbooks are only available through our church right now.

What did catechism training look like in your home?

We would generally work on the catechism right before bed. That is when the kids were most attentive and willing to dig a little deeper, primarily because they wanted to put off going to bed. When they were younger, we might only spend 5 minutes on the questions, but as they aged, we noticed that they were much more eager to ask clarifying questions and to dig deeper into the meaning of the questions. I was honestly not that concerned about whether or not they understood the questions or even the words they were using. I just wanted them to memorize it, to get the information in their head, and I believed God would bear fruit from that effort later.

And how did your kids respond to the Catechisms?

Just this week my two oldest sons (39 and 37) were telling me how much they benefited from learning the catechisms. They are excited to teach their children as well. All five living children are following the Lord and growing in their love for him.

How else are the scriptures taught in your home?

Every night, at the end of dinner, we read through a passage of scripture, discuss it, then pray. We take maybe 3 minutes to read the scripture and then I just want to see if they can grasp the main points. Usually my wife chooses the book of the Bible we read. Right now we're reading through Galatians.

What else does your church offer for the youth?

We don't have a Jr. high or Sr. high program – instead we have mentoring groups. The boys are mentored by their fathers. If they do not have a father, then their grandfather, an elder in the church, or another man will agree to mentor te child. These groups meet in the homes of the elders, every other week, and primarily deal with life issues. Right now we're studying a 2 volume series by Douglas Bond (Stand Fast and Hold Fast).

But we also equip the youth by training fathers to lead devotions in the home. On Wednesday nights the men gather for a Bible study, right now we're teaching through Proverbs. I don't teach that study, I facilitate it. The men rotate on who teaches the study, and each man is required to bring copies of his teaching notes to share with the other men so that they will know how to teach the content to their family. You see the only way to really learn how to teach your family is to practice teaching. This study gives men a safe place to practice and get positive encouragement from other men.

I was very grateful to have this interview and for men like Dr. Gleason that are pushing the average church member to go deeper in their understanding of theology and the Scriptures. Maybe you have not been very satisfied with your church's approach to children's ministry. Try reading through some of the catechism links on this post and see what you think of the material. Are these the kinds of things you would like to know about God and have your kids learn as well? Have you longed for your church to be intentional to link the teaching at church with what is being taught in the home? Then maybe you should consider using the catechism approach to training your children.

Don’t Be a Loser

2009-05-07T07:05:00.003-07:00

FamilyLife recently interviewed Mark Hamby, founder and president of Lamplighter publishing. In it he tells the story of how he went from hating books, even graduating High School and college without having ever read a book, to falling in love with good books. It happened when he was confronted by a teacher at a Christian college who said "I think you lack the character to do what it takes to be able to get a passing grade in this course." Ouch. She said that because he had slacked off the entire semester, and was now asking for extra work to bring up his grade. She didn't budge: "The only way you are passing my course is if you get a 100 on the final." He took the final, though he almost quit the school because of her challenge (you'll have to listen to the program to find out what happened).

The next day he attended a seminar and met Charlie T. Jones, who picked him out of the crowd, and stood him on stage to ask him about his reading habits. Mark tells the story as follows:

He grabs me by the elbow, lifts me up like a vice grip and brings me up onstage in front of 3,000 people and says, "Young man, what great Christian literature are you reading in your life these days?" I was petrified... I've never been in front of that many people before, and he says, "I want to know who your mentors are – what biographies are you reading? I want to know what the best book was that you read last year. What was the best book you read last week, and what book were you reading last night?" He spun me around, and he started hitting me on the back, and he says, "Tell these people right now – who's your mentors – D.L. Moody, is it George Mueller, Hudson Taylor, Amy Carmichael," and he's really just kind of shaking me, and I'm going from bright red to pale yellow… I'm trying to [think of a book], and [only remembering] the books my mother read to me when I was a kid, and he looked at me, and said, "I don't know how I pick you losers out every time." And I looked at him, and he says, "Go to your seat, I'll see you later."

Afterwards, Mr. Jones got Mark's address and sent him a box full of Christian biographies. Those books changed Mark's life and led to him start Lamplighter publishing. The company is dedicated to reintroducing great works of literature to new generations. For instance, one of the books they publish is called A Peep Behind the Scenes, which Mark says "outsold the Scarlet Letter by 2 million copies in 1850."

Listen to the radio programs and start reading some of these great classics!

Part 1: You're Only as Good as the Books You Read

Part 2: Welcome to the Wonderful World of Reading.

The Family Room

2009-05-05T14:41:00.001-07:00

FamilyLife offers a great e-zine on marriage called The Family Room.

I especially appreciated one article this month on a woman's struggle to salvage her marriage after an affair. She writes,

"Brad and I had only been married for 15 months when he told me that he was no longer happy and wanted out of our marriage. I was devastated … but not totally surprised. I suspected that he had been seeing another woman.

Although Brad and I continued living under one roof, our hearts were not united. Our daughter had just turned one, and I wondered if our life as a family was over."

You can read the rest here.

A Frightening Affair

2009-05-04T14:30:00.003-07:00

On a recent FamilyLife Today radio broadcast, Pastor Dave Carder states that "40% of Christian marriages will experience an affair before the couple reaches the age of 40." This statistic made me gasp when I heard it. 40%?!?! That seems impossible. Yet the statistics also say that 50% of all couples (Christian or non-Christian) experience affairs before 40. Thus a reminder that many "Christian" marriages are not very different from the average married couple. Based on the statistics, the chances are good (or bad) that you know someone who has experienced an affair or will experience one. The radio programs are outstanding, and I highly recommend that every couple take time to listen to them. You might even consider ordering a few copies of the CD to pass along to other couples.

Part 1: Why do Affairs Happen?

Part 2: What Causes Affairs?

Part 3: Where do Affairs Start?

Part 4: How do I Come Clean?

Part 5: How do I Rebuild Trust?

Online evaluation: Are you at risk for an Affair?

Teaching Kids (and yourself) Theology

2009-05-01T13:04:00.004-07:00

FamilyLife recently aired a series of interviews with Bruce Ware, who wrote a book called Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God. This book is a summary of the many conversations he had with his two daughters during their adolescent years. Bruce describes what he did as "co-opting" family time to do what he loved best – teaching the great and glorious truths of the Christian faith. He did this over "family discussion during dinner, late-night chats in his study, and 'daddy-daughter dates.'"

Bruce is a professor of theology at Southern Seminary in Louisville, Ky. Though he is a skilled theologian, his kids comment in the book on how adept he was at making theology relevant to young children. But of particular note is what his girls wrote in the forward of the book: "We followed our father's teaching in part because he practiced what he preached." I often wonder what the children of many parenting 'experts' would say about their parents. Here we get the author giving his daughters space to tell-all, and they give nothing but glowing praise and admiration for their father.

One of the goals of this blog is to equip you with tools for the spiritual training of your children, but all the tools in the world are worthless unless you 'practice what you preach.' Every guy reading this should be encouraged – because if a Theology Professor, one normally known for being 'dry' or 'boring' or 'irrelevant', can teach children about Jesus and still make it interesting, then the rest of us have a great chance to win at home.

You can listen to the three programs via the following links:

Introducing Your Child to God

Sandbox Theology

Helping Your Child Understand the Holy Spirit

Reformation History

2009-04-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

For a GREAT summary of the Reformation, check out this sermon by Tommy Nelson (right click on link and select "save as").

Fear and Idolatry

2009-04-29T13:37:00.003-07:00

One afternoon my wife was listening to the radio. A show about the failing economy came on and the speaker announced "I want you to think of the thing which you are most afraid." He paused. "Now – what came to mind? Was it being poor, losing a loved one, maybe cancer?" Another long pause… "If the thing you fear most was anything other than being distant in your relationship with Jesus Christ, then your priorities are out of order."

Tim Keller recently gave a talk at the Gospel Coalition Conference that focused on the issue of Idolatry (download video or audio here). He said that Salvation is putting your hope in Jesus, but Idolatry is putting your hope in anything other than Jesus. He also said that fear is Idolatry, because the thing you fear has become too high of a priority for you. So high that you become fearful when you imagine life without it. Security, respect, and truth can become gods if they are the ultimate source of your purpose and fulfillment.

Keller also commented on Martin Luther's view on the 10 Commandments. Luther saw all of the commandments as flowing out of the first one: The Lord your God is one; you should have no other God's before him. Thus if you break any of the other 9, you are breaking them because you failed to understand the first command. Why do you steal? Because the possession has become an Idol – a god above the one true God. Why do you lie? Because you value people's perception of you more than God's perception of you. These things are Idolatry.

Voddie Baucham recently gave a message at FamilyLife addressing this very issue (video of Part 1 and Part 2). He said "if you struggle with anger – getting angry at your wife. You don't have an anger problem, you have a worship problem." You get angry because you put have something else as a higher priority than worshipping and pleasing Christ. At that point, you have fallen into Idolatry.

Power of Forgiveness

2009-04-14T07:17:00.004-07:00

One by one, the families made their way across the hardwood floors of the courtroom to the accusation podium. There they sought to unload all their retribution on the man that had taken their loved ones away. They were given this opportunity by the judge, setting the killer before them one last time before he was shut away in a prison for life. A fire hose of vileness and anger sprayed forth from the people that had been wronged, yet throughout the ordeal, the criminal sat with a wiry smile on his face, almost as if to say “your words are meaningless.” Near the end of the indictments, one man approached the stand with noticeably less anger on his face than those who had gone before him. He came to his place before the microphone, paused to collect himself, and said, “I want you to know, I forgive you for the things you’ve done to my family.” The hardened criminal that had taken such delight in the pain of so many could no longer hold his composure – he was reduced to a puddle of tears.

The power of forgiveness in relationships is an amazing thing. We come to expect retribution and anger when someone is wronged, but forgiveness is so unnatural that many can’t help but stand in awe when it is experienced. This happens time and again at FamilyLife’s marriage conferences – where learning to forgive your spouse is often the first step towards healing years of stored hurts.

Ruth Graham said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” It seems that this one concept has helped Julie and I more than any other in marriage, but it plays out a little different in that we try to have a forgiving attitude before an offense has been committed. We try to assume the best about one another’s intentions, trusting that even when one of us is hurt, the other probably did not intend to cause pain. We also try to keep short accounts, so that the little bumps in the road do not build an insurmountable mountain.

Of course, there are many other areas where forgiveness applies than just marriage. I often pray that one of the things I will do well as a parent is to be quick to seek and grant forgiveness. I want my son to know that Dad does not hold grudges, nor am I too proud to admit wrong and ask him to forgive me.

Forgiveness also extends to people you do not know or have never met – for instance, many people carry around bitterness towards political figures all of their lives. And of course, the ultimate application of this is in our relationship with God: Matthew 6.14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Luke 6.37 says “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” I preached on this verse a few weeks ago and talked about the meaning of that word forgive – which expresses the idea of release, of letting go or setting free. Thus a simple definition of forgiveness is an act of releasing a person from debt of their offense. By forgiving you are giving up the right to continue to punish them for their offense. After that sermon a man approached me and shared about his relationship with his mother – how he had received years of emotional and spiritual abuse from her and has forgiven her time and time again. Hearing sermons on forgiveness always causes him to pause and ask “Have I really forgiven her? Or am I hanging on to something else?”

Take some time this week to think through the concept of forgiveness. Is there someone you need to grant forgiveness? Or maybe someone from whom you need to seek forgiveness? It could be a parent that you have neglected, a child you have exasperated, a family member you’ve offended. Maybe you need to forgive a politician for spending too much of your hard earned money (unless you think they have not spent enough.) Maybe you even need to think about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and missed opportunities.

Forgiveness may seem impossible in your situation. You may say “you have no idea what I’ve been through” and you would be right – I have no concept of the pain you have experienced. However I know that Jesus, when he was hanging on the cross, prayed “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” in Luke 23:34. If Jesus, one who was reviled without reason, can forgive, then there is hope that all of us can as well.

Another Man on Trying Men

2009-03-29T06:06:00.004-07:00

Mark Driscoll is also featuring short posts on important people in the History of the church on his blog. So far he's covered John Calvin, Spurgeon, Whitefield, the Puritans and others. He called it “Long Live the Dead Guys Week.”

Old Wine, New Skins

2009-03-17T10:27:00.002-07:00

This was done using existing audio from the Jesus film. I found it more moving than the original film. Turn it up!

Interview with Wayne Grudem

2009-02-22T07:18:00.005-07:00

C.J. Mahaney recently interviewed Wayne Grudem - Parts 1, 2, 3, & 4.

Grudem was my mentor during my studies at Phoenix Seminary and many of the things he shares in these interviews are very important to me. When I first met him in person, what amazed me most was not his intellect (though profound) nor his humility, but his prayer life. I had heard few people talk about their prayer life with such clarity and intentionality.

In 2001 I spent a summer in Santa Cruz, California with Campus Crusade for Christ. While there I developed a close friendship with a man that I admired much. He was athletic, had a sharp mind, was hard charging, yet compassionate towards the hurting. One day we were on a hike in Yosemite and he said, "John, when I think of you, I will always pray that you become a man of prayer." That meant the world to me to know another man would be praying so intentionally for me. I think of that often and ask for the Lord to help me grow in my prayer life. Grudem's example, Tom Nelson's practice of keeping a prayer journal for the members of his church, and my parent's example of faithfulness in prayer have all been a great encouragement.

52 Men Trying Part 4 - Origen

2009-02-20T15:25:00.008-07:00

Few early church fathers have drawn more personal intrigue than Origen. He was a man of amazing intellect, severe passion, and thorough dedication to the cause of Christ.

Dedication

Origen was born in Alexandria around 185 AD. His parents were believers in Jesus and at an early age he too committed his life to following Christ. The strength of his commitment was evidenced by his willingness to join his father as a martyr. Though only a boy, he had made up his mind to go to his father in prison, where death for the faithful man was imminent. But Origen was spared by the love of his mother, who hid his clothes and thus kept him from departing the home. In response, Origen wrote his father a letter urging him "to allow no thought for his family to shake his resolution."

But his yearning for martyrdom would eventually be satisfied. After years of preaching and writing, he was captured and tortured during the reign of Gallus and died within a few years after his release.

Intellect

Origen was a man of great intellect and abilities. One historian noted that Origen wrote in the range of 6,000 books in his lifetime. His productivity was likely due to his ability to use up to seven scribes to record his dictation at a time, along with as many female secretaries who helped with his work. His books included commentaries on every book of the Bible, the first attempt at a 'systematic theology' in the history of the church

But likely his greatest literary accomplishment was his work on the Hexapla. This was a collection of six different versions of the Biblical text, copied in parallel columns to allow for easy comparison. The project was so enormous that he gave twenty-eight years of his life to seeing it completed. His purpose in writing "was to settle the dispute between Christians and Jews about the biblical text."

One of the more puzzling aspects of Origen's intellect was his allegorical view of interpreting scriptures. Though he had a high regard for the accuracy of the text, He held to a "threefold meaning in the text… a literal (historical), moral, [and] mystical." So although the plain meaning of the text holds much value and truth and lays the "foundation for theology," Origen believed the goal for the more spiritual Christian was to "move beyond these doctrines, as long as they do not contradict them."

Difficult, indeed, for how does one know when you have moved far enough beyond the 'doctrines' without going too far? What is even more puzzling, as you will see in the next section, is how he avoided allegory in one very important area of interpreting and applying the Bible to his life.

Passion

During his life, he was constantly troubled by the lax spiritual nature of his surrounding community and took note of the hypocrisy among the Christians. Thus he stood out as a man of great commitment to asceticism, as church historian Philip Schaff notes:

He refused the gifts of his pupils, and in literal obedience to the Savior's injunction he had but one coat, no shoes, and took no thought of the morrow. He rarely ate flesh, never drank wine; devoted the greater part of the night to prayer and study and slept on the bare floor.

This commitment to a denial of the flesh and devotion to a holy lifestyle would lead him to a drastic decision. He was so overwhelmed with the text of Matthew 19.12 and a desire to "secure himself against temptation… with [his] many female catechumens," that he castrated himself, a decision he would later regret. Thankfully, the council of Nicea, in 325 AD, condemned the act of self-castration, so no need to contemplate following his example.

Oddly enough, Origen shares this particular cutting edge quality with a modern hero – Boston Corbett. Who is he? He is the man that shot John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln's Assassin. Corbett, a recent convert motivated by a desire to avoid the temptation of prostitutes, used a pair of scissors to perform the act. He then ate a meal and went to a prayer meeting before going for medical treatment.

Conclusion

It seems that Origen, being a man of great abilities, pursued his studies and theology with the most noble of intentions, seeking merely to enter into closer communion with Christ. In this process, he explored concepts and questions that few of his contemporaries possessed the 'balls' (pardon the pun) to ask. Some of his conclusions lead to his being declared a heretic and contradicting himself in places. Thus one is left with the realization that when a man writes so many volumes on so many topics, contradiction is inevitable.

His life, his asceticism, and his commitment to Christ is inspiring, yet at the same time his distant dances with many ideas reminds one to heed the words of Proverbs 10.19, "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." Or one of my favorites, Proverbs 17.28 "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."

*As for the delay on my "weekly" posts: We are in the process of packing up and moving 1500 miles back to Little Rock Arkansas. As you can imagine, finding the right reference book has been a challenge at times.

Lincoln's 200th

2009-02-12T08:38:00.004-07:00

Today is Lincoln's 200th birthday. Make sure to take time to celebrate with others: Invite them over to split rails, recite the Gettysburg address, or read the Bible by candlelight.

You may also want to consider reading one of the following about him this year:

Lincoln by David Herbert Donald - Gives insight into many of the forces at work in America politics shaping Lincoln's decisions. Shows how he was wise and witty with his down-home colloquialisms. Increased my respect for his bravery and endurance to stand for the right thing no matter how hard it was
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin - Lincoln's cabinet was made up of some of his sharpest critics. Why would he do that? (Can you imagine Obama making McCain his Secretary of State?) This book analyzes the wisdom and the danger in such a practice.
Manhunt by James Swanson - The story of the chase for Lincoln's assassin, John Wilkes Booth. The most amazing part of this story was the reality that Booth most likely would have escaped if not for breaking his ankle when jumping from the presidential box at Ford's Theater. Since most news only traveled as fast as horseback at this time, he was able to stay ahead of the story for a while, until his broken body could last no longer. This story was recently featured on the History channel and is worth watching.